Oct 14: How Did My Challenging Day Go?

Does that sum it up?

Sigh.......

I really thought about not blogging tonight.  I bandied about the idea of skipping over today's foodfest and changing the subject in a couple of days when I wrote again.

But I couldn't do it.  Denying it doesn't make it go away.  Not telling anyone that I ate tons of junk food and made poor choices does not make the choices less poor.

When a calorie doesn't get counted and tracked, it's still a calorie.  Unfortunately, calories are not like those stupid trees that fall in the forest with no one around to hear them.

So, to make a long story short, we'll just go with "totals".

My day consisted of a breakfast meeting and two buffets.  Let's just say, my choices were not stellar.

Breakfast Meeting: 597
Lunch Buffet (Pizza): 1160
Dinner Buffet (Chinese): 897

Bringing us to a grand total of...........

Calories: 2654
Carbs: 312
Fat: 103
Protein: 123

Gulp.

It looks pretty dirty all written out like that.  And the even worse thought is that, since I don't hit buffets with my trusty scale, I'm guessing at the actual servings.

Am I going to dress in sack cloth and roll around in ashes?  Am I going to starve myself for the next two days to make up for it?  Perhaps I could only have vegetables in water for the rest of the week to pay penance for my nutritional sins.

Nope.

As disappointed as I am in my choices, I'm simply going to do better tomorrow.  I'm going to write off today and I'm going to move on with my nutritional plan and make tomorrow go without a hitch.  Why?  Because I've spent too many years yo yo dieting and watching the scale go up and down.  Mistakes happen.  Punishing myself won't make them not happen again.  That will just make me say "F$#* it" and quit altogether.  Starving myself will just make me go on another food bender.  But nourishing myself with good food will make me feel good and I will want to keep that sense of wellness going.

Tomorrow's plan:

My regular first two meals
Salad with grilled chicken for lunch (with lots of yummy veggies)
Homemade chili for supper (cooked in the crockpot)

The crockpot will allow no margin for error with dinner.  It will be sitting there ready, smelling delicious, so that there will be no ordering pizza, no "too tired to make dinner", no excuses period.  I do okay sticking with meals during the day because I take it with me and that's all there is to eat.

So there we have it.  The long and the short.  The good and the bad. The way to make it better.

Don't think I'm letting myself "off the hook".  I'm not pleased with the decisions I made but there's no umaking them now.  I'm moving on and starting again the next meal because that's all you can do.

Self-flagellation only goes over well in monasteries.

Oct. 13: Limited Success

You know, I'm a glass half full kind of girl, so I am going to call today a success, if a limited one.

I finally fixed my food scale (okay, I replaced the battery, but saying "fixed" sounds much more efficient and capable) so my calories are very accurate today. 

They are too high for weight loss.

Today's eats"

m1: ww English muffin, natural pb, skim milk

m2: yogurt, 1/2 a nectarine, granola and protein powder
m3: salad with turkey breast, homemade Mexican dressing and 30g of Doritos
m4: broccoli pizza
1,882 calories
204 carbs
65 fat
125 protein

It's the carbs, of course, that are pushing my numbers up so high.  I've got to cut them back.  I have to plan my days better too.  If I were eating a less "carby" dinner, I'd be right in line with where I need to be.

My plan is to cut calories and eat on the higher end of the deficit.  After the lengthy diet break I've been on, I should be able to lose on more calories than before. (The optimist in me speaks again!)

After supper is just killing me.  I want to sit here and munch in front of the TV with every fiber of my being.  Of course, if I want to do that I need to save up some of my calories. Tonight I'm going to try a flavored hot tea and see if that satisfies a little bit.

The rest of the week is full of stumbling blocks.  Tomorrow has a breakfast meeting with absolutely NO healthy choices although I've requested them.  My daughter has a doctor's appointment and wants to go for lunch afterwards.  I intend to make good choices then as well, to the best of my ability.  For supper tomorrow night, I'm going to make a stir fry with veggies and chicken and no rice or noodles.  Friday, my mom will be arriving for a one week visit.  With her also arrives bags of chips, cookies and candy, as well as convenience foods like macaroni and cheese and other nutrional minefields.  The weekend will be the tough part, since all the meals will be family style.  The work week will be far easier to navigate since I will be eating the first three meals at the office.

I need to ponder and come up with a road map through this.  If I was still in my "excuses" phase, this would be a dandy reason to blow off my diet for the next week.  But I could do that every week of the year and still have excuses left over. 

There is always going to be something that makes dieting difficult.  Getting around those difficulties is the difference between being a yo yo dieter and a success story.



Oct 12: Day One Success and Turkey Recipes

Today was Day One of being on-plan.


It was a big improvement, although not dietarily perfect.  I was happy because I refrained from eating crap all day.  I can't really pinpoint the last time I made it through an entire day without eating some junk: chips, a donut, a drive-through cheeseburger.  Even though it was a bit unbalanced, I was pleased with the junk-"freeness" of it.

m1: Whole Wheat English Muffin w/ natural pb, iced coffee with skim milk
m2: Low Fat Organic Yogurt, 1/2 a banana, granola, protein powder, sprinkle of pecans
m3: turkey breast, leftover stuffing (fairly low fat - no butter, not actually stuffed into the turkey) and roasted veggies
m4: chicken breast, Kashi honey puff cereal
Microwave popcorn nibbled on to help deter the potato chip cravings

Calories: 1595
Carbs: 188
Fat: 46
Protein: 118

TURKEY PITA PIZZAS

leftover turkey breast in bite sized pieces

bbq sauce of choice

whole wheat pita

veggies of choice (I use onions, hot peppers and mushrooms)

shredded low fat mozzarella

Preheat the oven to 400.  Place the pita on a baking sheet and spread with bbq sauce - my favorite is a spicy honey garlic bbq sauce.  Top with turkey and veggies, then sprinkle with cheese.  The lighter you go on the cheese, the lower cal your meal will be.

Bake in the oven until pita is crisp on bottom and cheese is bubbly, about 10 minutes.  Let it rest of a couple of minutes before you slice it into 4 pieces.

Tomorrow I'm experimenting with sweet potato soup to use up the last of the mashed sweet potatoes. 

Here's looking at another successful diet day tomorrow.

Thank you so much for the warm "welcome back" you gave me!  My meal planning is not spectacular this week, but it revolves around using up the Thanksgiving leftovers!

Oct. 11: Moved In At Last!

Finally.

After a week and a half without phone and internet, life is settling into a new kind of normal.

The move, like all moves, was long, exhausting, and chaotic.  On moving day we didn't get the truck unpacked until 8:30 at night.  It took absolutely forever.  Added to that, my living room furniture wouldn't fit through the door.  I luckily sold it and managed to get a small sofa for the same amount.  We were so exhausted we could hardly move.  We went out for dinner and R fell asleep at the table.  The next day my back hurt so much I could hardly walk.  It also hurt that badly the day after that.  Thankfully, I'm all better now.

Unfortunately I'm also about five pounds heavier.  You know what ticks me off?  When I was all stressed out, I gave myself permission to eat crappy food.  Then when I was feeling better, I gave myself permission to eat crappy food. Subsequently, I gained 5 pounds in two weeks.  What was the reason?  There wasn't one - I just made them up.  I wanted to eat crappy food, and so I did. Excuses are what made me fat the first 759 times around.  Here are the excuses that have been in play over the past two weeks:

1.)  You poor thing, you are so stressed out.  Just have a cheeseburger and you'll feel better.

2.)  There is no time today - we have to eat in the car on the way to our appointment.

3.)  I'm feeling much better - let's celebrate with dinner out!

4.)  The boss bought donuts - it would be rude not to eat one.

5.)  I don't have time to pack my lunch this morning - I'll just have fast food.

6.)  I didn't have any granola to go with my yogurt so I will just have a candy bar instead.

I'm sure there were other excuses, but those were sufficiently lame to get my point across.

My point is:  There is always an excuse - it's easier to make excuses and let yourself off the hook than to stay on track.  But it's not easier to be heavy instead of healthy.  My short term satisfaction is not worth my long term health.

So tomorrow begins the trek back to a healthy lifestyle, here in my cute new apartment just a few blocks from work.

For all my Canadian friends

~ I'm thankful that I weigh about 50 pounds less than I did last Thanksgiving ~

~ I'm thankful that I've been able to reduce my expenses ~

~ I'm thankful that I have a lovely new apartment with a great landlord ~

~ I'm thankful for my beautiful, talented daughters ~

~ I'm thankful for my affectionate pets ~

~ I'm thankful that I have been blessed with a new beginning ~

~ I'm thankful for a great job ~

Tomorrow:

 recipes for Thanksgiving leftovers