Saturday, June 5, 2010

June 5: Real World RFL ~ McDonald's

Today we went on a school field trip.  I felt lucky to get a chance to go to the Children's Museum with my kids with no money out of pocket, given our current financial situation.  The bus trip and admission were taken care of by a community organization, and the museum is set in a beautiful extensive urban park.

I carefully packed lunches for us in my big go-everywhere cooler bag.

I brought, cheese, crackers, carrots, grape tomatoes, peaches, blackberries, granola bars, and for myself, 2 cans of tuna mixed with some fat-free mayo and seasonings and a baggie of cucumber slices.

I sat with the grandma of one of my daughter's friends on the bus.  I don't know if it just seemed this way, but all she talked about was food.  Potato salad, pizza and wings, birthday cake, fresh strawberries, roast beef that had to be described in all it's succulent glory.  I wasn't really hungry but it had me craving all those foods.

And then we went to McDonald's.  Dum dum dummmmm.......

Never has a menu looked so mouthwatering.  Never has a mish mash of potatoes and chemicals smelled more tempting.  The photos of the food tantalized me with the fresh-looking ingredients.  Now, clearly, I know the food is not as good as is pictured, but wow - it just about killed me.

I ordered a Diet Coke for myself and ice cream cones for the kids.  Then I sat down at the table with another family and quietly pulled my tuna out of my cooler bag. It was the crappiest tuna I've ever eaten.  I'm sure there was really nothing worse about this tuna than any other tuna I have eaten (I'm not really a fan but it's cheap and a good source of RFL protein) but in the midst of the Big Macs, fries and McFlurries, it really seemed quite substandard.

A few people looked at me strangely.  One mom loudly exclaimed over how healthy I was.  She loudly exclaimed it several times.  It's really hard to subtly eat tuna at McDonald's when someone is commenting on it. 

So today, my first venture out with others when it wasn't an off-plan meal, I survived the trip into the real world with my RFL diet intact.   I didn't succumb to temptation.  I deserve to lose this weight.  The last 10 pounds will come off because, today, eating tuna at McDonald's, I felt like I was made of iron.  My resolve won't waver because I'm almost there and there's no way in the world I will stop with the goal so close.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

June 3: Dieting in the Real World

So far, I've been sort of cyber-dieting.  Most of my work has been done from home since I began this diet.  Therefore I didn't face the same temptations may of you do when I was in the delicate early stages of setting up my new habits.  No office donuts, no pizza lunches, no breakfast meetings, no vending machines.

On Monday, I'm going back to work.  Maybe for a long time, maybe for a short time - by now, most of you know how I roll.   It has been hard to work full time over the past year, because, as many of you know,  I've dealt with a major depressive episode.

But the time has come to buckle down and make some money.  The new job is not exciting, but it's a job and I'll do my very best at it.  If I write an award winning novel or get some wild 6 figure offer from somewhere else, then I'll quit. Until one of those events occurs, I'm going to stick it out and give it my all.

So, now I'm going public.  It's a little scary to bring my diet into the Real World.  The few times I've ventured out, it hasn't gone especially well.  People I used to go eat chicken wings with have found it uncomfortable if I just get a salad with no dressing.  Although I'd never venture to comment on someone else's food, others seem to have no compunction about commenting on mine.  Will the temptation of the Snickers bar in the vending machine be too much for me?

It's almost like I've been sequestered for the past 6 months.  So, I've been planning my Real World debut.

1.) pack a lunch the night before
2.) bring plenty of cold water in my cooler bag
3.) bring more snacks than I expect to need
4.) find a quiet place to read a book during breaks
5.) when faced with temptation, eat a cucumber

My hope is that the habits I've spent six months instilling in myself are well-set.  Like every other event, whether it be a shopping trip, a birthday party or an impromptu visit to a friend's, I'm hoping the act of planning will help me stick it out as I enter The Real World.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

June 1: Fall Down. Get Up. Repeat.

Yesterday I whined and ranted about my "epic fail" during my refeed.  Of course, I'm still not pleased about it, but today, I got up, ate my egg whites, and got right back on the horse. 

This is what it takes.

I've talked a lot recently about versatility, the ability to change things that aren't working, and adapting yourself to your situation.

The other personality trait of vast importance is perseverance.

Friends and readers write to me sometimes and tell my about how hard it is to start right back up.  I see it on forums all the time.  Starting again is harder than starting at all.  This is a universal problem that occurs with every dieter who has ever lost a pound.

You fall down.  You get back up. You lose weight.  You fall down. You get back up.  You lose weight.


You fall down.  You get back up. You lose weight. You fall down.  You say "Screw it."  You don't lose weight.  In fact, you gain everything you lost and more.

Really, these are your options.  There are no others because none of us is perfect.  The number of times you are willing to get back up again must directly correlate with the weight you lose - there's gotta be a statistic for that somewhere.

How do you keep getting up again?  Well, eventually you get sick of getting back up again.  You get so sick of it that you fall down a lot less because you just don't want to have to start again.  The only problem with that is when you do fall, it's far more startling.  This is where things can go awry.

It's okay, even important, to beat yourself up a little.  I know that's not the common advice, but all this huggy kissy I'm okay, you're okay stuff isn't going to get you to where you want to go.  So reach back there and kick your own butt and get UP.  Just don't beat yourself up to the point you won't get up again.

The other part of getting back up again is to do it immediately. Don't lay there on the grass and catch your breath.  Don't make plans to get back up.  Don't figure out, while you are lying there munching a cookie, when the most convenient time to get back up might be. 

Just get up.  Do it now. Move on.  Your very next meal will be on your plan.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  You will get to your destination

Monday, May 31, 2010

May 31: The Refeed That Ate the World

See Godzilla? This was me today, and that train?  That would be the sugar train that I got on.

It all started when I didn't eat breakfast.

I wasn't feeling the best and considered skipping my refeed for today, then I decided to go for it.  The problem with that? A complete lack of planning.

What was supposed to be an organized refeed basically felt like a binge.  I was supposed to consume, in a five hour span, 177 grams of carbohydrates while keeping the fat under 50 grams. (These numbers are based on my lean body mass).

1.) My five hours turned into six, because I simply couldn't eat that much food in that span of time. 
2.) I ate basically nothing but sugar and a cheeseburger.
3.) I was 8 grams short on carbs.
4.) I was 21 grams high on fats.

I ate:
A cheeseburger
A cupcake
A cup and a half of ice cream
A protein shake made with milk
A whipped cream filled donut

I don't think that is what the author of RFL had in mind when he recommended carb loading.

Let's face it, I'm a perfectionist.  I get very upset with myself when I do things less than perfectly.  (Well, not everything but important things - otherwise I'd be upset an awful lot!)  I wasn't even going to write about this fiasco, and then I realized, everybody screws up and when i started this blog I promised the good, bad and ugly.

Today was ugly.

If I write the kind of blog where everything is perfect all the time, it's not believable nor is it very inspirational.  Who can relate to a dietary saint?  While I am pretty strict, I screw up, and this is your hard, cold, low-carb, high-fat evidence of that fact.

Here's the thing.  This could be a setback.  I'm not eating such low calories for 6 weeks of my life because it's fun.  But I'm not going to quit.  Giving up is not going to get me to my goal but persevering will.

I've said it a million times and I want you to tattoo it to your eyelids if you need to.  If you are what you eat, you have another chance to get things right the very next meal.  That means, three or four or five times a day, however many times you eat, you get a do-over.  And if more of those do-overs go right than wrong, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY REACH YOUR GOAL.

So I'm calling an end to this day, and starting fresh with my egg whites tomorrow morning.

May 31: Very Quick Weigh-In

Hi ~  I just wanted to update before I forgot the new numbers, or even worse, lost the piece of paper I wrote them on. 

Today is nearly the end of Week 3 of RFL.  I didn't want to weigh in tomorrow because the refeed will throw things off.

Start: May 12                May 31

Weight: 185                  173

Bust: 41                        41
Waist: 32                      31.5
Hips: 40                        39.5

I'm kind of surprised my measurements didn't drop a  bit more with 12 pounds, but at least they dropped.

This past week was strange for weigh loss - on the 25th I dropped 4 pounds overnight and then only one pound since then.

Have to run - I will be back with more later!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

May 30: Recent meals

I had planned to discontinue the photos and food lists, but I've gotten a few emails lately wondering what's on the menu over here.  I'd like to add something to this.  On days that my daughter is here, I don't like to cook two meals.  Sometimes that is the only option, but at other times, I'm able to add a side dish and feed the whole family.

I have an egg white omelet every day for breakfast.  The only thing that differs is the veggies I put in them, and whether or not I've added cheese.  One of the tastier ones I made recently was a spinach and garlic omelet, which I topped with some shredded Swiss cheese.

I've been a bit bummed out because I seem to be stuck yet again with weight.  This has made it harder to stick to such a strict plan.  It has required all of my creativity to keep eating the same chicken and egg whites.

One successful concoction was tortilla-less fajitas.  I sliced chicken breast, onion and green pepper (just a little pepper because I'm not a fan.  I seasoned it with sea salt and chili powder and sauteed it in a non-stick pan.    I put it into a bowl and topped it with some shredded Monterrey jack cheese.  For my daughter, I wrapped it in a tortilla and topped it with plain yogurt.  She loved it!I added some burn-your-mouth-off hot sauce to mine.

"What's for dinner, Mom?  Let me guess....CHICKEN."  Yes, honey, chicken. 

I mixed things up by spicing it with Greek seasoning.  As a side dish, I made a "salad" of chopped cucumber and chopped grape tomatoes.  I put a drizzle of balsamic vinegar on mine.  For my daughter's salad, I added some feta cheese and an oil and vinegar dressing, and wrapped her chicken in a pita with a little bit of tzatziki.

My off plan meal really wasn't anything crazy.  I always feel pretty bloated afterwards and battle serious cravings for days.  So I un-shished some steak shish-k-bobs and had a big pile of flank steak.  I made oven fries to go with it.  My little one was having dinner at her dad's that night so I didn't have to share. Oh, and I can't forget the treat part of this: KETCHUP!!!  Mmmmmm......I missed ketchup.

The thing that has really helped with both my sweet tooth and my protein intake has been my nightly protein floats.  I've tried them with several different types of diet soda pop and every single one has been delicious.

Tomorrow is my refeed, so look out carbs, here I come!  My little one will be very excited to see some dessert in the house.  A friend brought us pink cupcakes, so looks like that will be our treat tomorrow evening.  I haven't figured out the rest of it yet.

I'm frustrated today.  My weight has not been dropping for about 4 days.  In fact it's gone up.  I understand it goes up after a free meal or refeed but it isn't supposed to go up before those meals.  Anyhow, tomorrow is my official weigh in for the week, so we will see what happens.

If any of you have requests or questions please let me know in the comment section. Comments make me happy!!!

I've been playing around with photoshop - thus the crazy new pic!

Have a great week, and to my American readers, happy Memorial Day!