December 14th - Mega-frustrated.

Let me preface this entire rant with "I'm PMS-ing!"

Stats are in for week 2. Here is the progress so far"

Starting weight 210 Current weight 203
Starting bust 46 Current bust 46
Starting waist 37.5 Current waist 36
Starting hips 47 Current hips 46

I should be thrilled but I'm not.

This week I really upped the ante, adding 5 workouts with DVDs. I really hoped for more than 2 pounds this week. I know, I know, that is the amount you are supposed to loose. Well, bah humbug! I wanted one more week of "Beginner's Momentum"! I really thought the exercise would help with that.

Second issue: Yesterdays DVD was a new one. It was a target toning one with an emphasis on squats and lunges. My hips and knees were killing me within an hour after. Sore muscles I can handle. Sore joints are a big warning sign. I had trouble getting up and down my stairs last night. It has occurred to me that I am simply too big to do these exercises. Boy, doesn't that just poke a hole in the self-esteem! It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

Sometimes it feels like I am in the wrong body. I am eating healthier than anyone I personally know. I work out 5-6 days a week (admittedly a new habit but roll with me here.) I feel really great and energetic most of the time. I don't feel like a fat person, and yet I am. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and that large woman just doesn't seem like she is me! I wonder if other people in the midst of a change feel this way? I feel like a size 8 in my mind, but I am a size 14 in my body.

Today, I am taking it easy from the workouts. If it is even tolerably warm I am going to walk the dog for 15-20 minutes. I am cleaning the house and hauling boxes and laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs so that is my main workout today - it has to get done with Christmas approaching. There will be all manner of people here. I know when my house is fresh and clean I will feel better.

Keeping things pretty clean today.

M1: Clean toast with natural pb, apple
M2: leftover beef and broccoli stir fry, rice
M3: chicken and raw veggies
M4 hm trail mix
M5: hm pizza, natural dough, w/ veggies and chicken, spinach salad w. hm dressing

I'll get my PMS over with soon and my state of mind will be greatly improved. Next post will be happier, I promise!