Jan. 25: Stress

Do you ever feel the victim to so much stress you just don't know what to do with it all? I'm there. Sometimes I actually miss the boost from the nasty white carbs, even though it was momentary. That 20 minutes or so of relief from the stress and anxiety of life would be a welcome relief right about now.

However, I have killed that particular vice with knowledge. Understanding how I will feel afterwards, physically and mentally, means that I don't even get that brief reprieve from life. Understanding the cycle of eating, then crashing, then eating some more, means that it just isn't worth it.

I'm glad, because this way, life is not derailing me from my goals.

I need a better way to deal with stress. The headaches/neck aches that I have been getting are unbelievable in their intensity.

Here is what is going on:

1.) Money problems
2.) Trouble getting work - I've sent off over 100 resumes and no job yet
3.) Problems with my teen daughter - she wants to move in with Dad and it is breaking my heart in two

Unfortunately, none of these problems are easily solvable. There are too many variables. It isn't often in life that I have had issues I could not tackle head on and take care of. That's why this is so tough for me. I'm trying to make a road map to get through it.

1.) Daily exercise, even if only for 10 minutes
2.) Keeping my surroundings tidy and pleasant
3.) Eat well
4.) Sell some things we no longer use on Kijiji and Ebay
5.) Spend an hour a day sending off more resumes
6.) Spending time outside when weather allows
7.)Write it down- I'm making lists and crossing things off, and I'm using this blog and a personal journal to deal with my feelings.
8.) Visiting a chiropractor to see if anything can be done about the neck pain.
9.) Researching and writing my blog - my goal is to one day turn some of this information into a book so that I can reach more people with my message about the poisons in the North American food supply.
10.) Turn off the computer - I tend to play on the computer when I am stressed instead of taking concrete actions.

So you guys can expect entries - lots of entries - over the next little while. I know I will get my feet back on the ground soon. Daisy will get her groove back.

I know that life goes on. It really seems that when my dad passed away last year I totally lost control of my life in my grief. He'd be so disappointed in me, but he would have some great advice if he was here. He was always my touchstone, my tether to reality and practicality.

It all boils down to this: I miss you, Daddy. I'll pull it all back together in memory of you.