Dec. 11th - Epiphany

Today was my trip to Toronto I love that city - there is so much energy and people with so many different interesting backgrounds! I had to go and do a buying trip for my store. I carefully packed my cooler and planned a long-awaited cheat meal! (woohoo!)

Here is what the day looked like:

M1: Ciabbatta toast, 1 tbs natural pb, 1 egg, pineapple
M2: HM trail mix, nuts and raisins
M3: 1/2 natural ww pita, grilled chicken breast, hm tzatziki (clean as whistle) carrots and grape tomatoes
M4: Kids meal at Licks Homeburgers.

I googled the nutritional info online and was pleasantly surprised. The beef they use is fairly lean. My kids meal burger, bun and all was 401 calories and 16 grams of fat. The regular one was over 540 with 22 grams of fat. A splurge but not dreadful I topped it with veggies too I was saddened to discover I no longer like french fries. This is me with a sad face - I used to love fries. But I could actually differentiate the taste of the grease from the taste of the potato. Yuck! So I only ate 6 of the fries and threw the rest away. I drank water. As far as a cheat goes, not too bad - less than half of what I would have had for a normal meal 2 weeks ago.

Anyone who has followed my story knows that I have had some serious issues with depression. My symptoms have diminished dramatically with the Clean Eating lifestyle. Well the epiphany is this: about 1/2 an hour after I ate that white bread bun, I started having issues. Not quite a full blown anxiety attack, but awfully close. Not about the food - I was fine with that - about everything else in the world. Everything that had been getting to me before that I would sit and stew over all came rushing back. My thoughts were racing, my head was pounding and I felt nauseous.

I am absolutely certain that in that meal there is some preservative or chemical to which I am extremely sensitive. I stopped and guzzled a couple of bottles of water. I stopped a half hour later to pee (of course) and have more water. I began to feel better and to be able to get a hold on my thoughts but no one will ever convince me there is no cause and effect here.

I think back to the horrible vicious circle I was in: feel depressed, binge on junk, feel worse, binge on more junk.....it was a never ending cycle.

Tonight, and every night, I will be thanking God for leading me this way. I am not overstating when I say: CLEAN EATING HAS CHANGED MY LIFE!

Back tomorrow with some recipes!