Square One

Well, here I am, nearly a year later, almost back at Square One.  I'm just over 200 pounds.  I seem to be great at losing weight and horrible at maintaining the loss.

Set backs don't just knock me back a step or two - it seems like they hit things out of the park for me.

Last October, we lost our home and our car.  No real harm, in the grand scheme of things.  We don't live in a cardboard box and we have a different car (one almost as old as my teenage daughter, but wheels and a working motor.)

When we moved out of the house, I hurt my back.  Badly.  I herniated two discs, which completely eradicated my exercise program.  More than six months later, I'm still struggling with the injury.  I'm working hard to find a program that doesn't worsen the pain.

I'm back at work, full time, thank the Lord.  I have a job I love, but it's high stress and that triggers me to shovel in the food that is abundantly present.

Biggest of all, and the worst of the stressors, has been the death of my children's father.  We did not get along.  There was not a lot of love lost between us.  However, it was somewhat sudden, my girls found his dead body and were subsequently traumatized.  They are devastated and their lives have changed forever.  My oldest has moved back in with me.  My heart just breaks for them and home life can be very tense.  As always, food is the "blankie" of choice for me.

Obviously, I've lost these 35 pounds before.  I know how to get rid of them.  I know the lifestyle I need and want to live.  I know how I want to feel and how I want to look. I know that accountability is necessary for me.  I know that it is TIME.

So today marks the day that I am back at it.  I am eating vegetarian now, so the foods are a bit different than before.  The budget is very tight, so things will look a little different than the last time around.

I will be planning my meals for the week, cooking ahead of time, and eating clean.  I'm counting calories and staying accountable.  I can't tell you how many times I have considered starting up the blog again because I really missed writing it.  But the timing was wrong.

Please forgive me for disappearing on you all.  I hope you will stick with me as I backtrack through this journey again.

^ I think this must be a photo of ME ^