June 12: One Month on RFL

Today marks one month on RFL.

This is the toughest diet I have ever been, bar none.

This is the best results I have ever had, bar none.

At my starting point, on May 12th, I embarked on this journey with my fingers crossed that SOMETHING would finally work.

Here is the breakdown/
5/12 weight 185           6/12 weight 170  -15 pounds
5/12 bust 41"                 6/12 bust 41"     no change
5/12 waist 32"              6/12 waist 30"    -2 inches
5/12 hips  40               6/12 hips  38.5    - 1.5 inches
5/12 BF  30%             6/12 BF  25.9%  - 4.1%

So, I am totally celebrating this plan.  Fifteen pounds in a month!!!!!

progress pics ( These are so hard to post on the net!!!)

Before, at 185, and after, today at 170.

Front:

Back

Side (ugh.)

Absolute honesty?  I really can't tell that much of a difference on the front and side shots.  I do see a slight improvement from the back, as my butt doesn't look as "cheesy" and dimply.

However, I am VERY happy with the numbers!

I'll post again later today and get caught up.

June 8: Like an Alcoholic in a Bar

Things are not going well.

I feel like an alcoholic in a bar. Today was the free barbecue at work.  It smelled incredible.  There were burgers, those humongous hot dogs, chips, soda pop and ice cream. 

To make matters worse, my lunch was horrible - I accidentally omitted one of the key seasonings when I was making it with one eye open this morning.   I choked it down and only got myself a Diet Coke from the barbecue.  Of course, that meant walking past ALL THAT FOOD.

I'm beginning to feel like a carb-starved psycho.

Everyone has proclaimed that I have such good willpower, but I have a confession to make.  I really don't.  I want to eat this unhealthy food with nearly every fiber of my being. 

The fiber holding my being back is accountability.  I have this blog, first of all.  I really do not want to write on here that I caved to temptation.  I also journal on a couple of different websites.  Because I'm a perfectionist, I have that little bit of restraint left because I don't want to confess falling off the wagon even more than I do want that food.

But I feel like a fraud.  If I truly had good willpower, I wouldn't have to fight the temptation so hard.  This worries me so much - that I crave this food.  Maybe I'm wrong about the fact that I have ingrained healthy eating habits now.  Maybe I'm just waiting for the restrictions of diet to be over and I will immediately revert to my old ways and gain it all back.

It's a terrifying feeling.

People think I'm weird.  I'm not partaking in the free food, and I think I'm the only one in the whole building who isn't.  Today, at the afternoon 15 minute break, I discovered I can briskly walk two laps around the outside of the building and that takes approximately the entire time, and I can avoid the lunchroom entirely. In the morning, I'm saving half of my omelet to eat during the first 15 minute break. I wonder if anyone would notice if I ate lunch in my car.

You see?  That is weird. People don't eat in their car just to be away from tempting foods and scents. 

Has anyone else experienced this?  What did you do when thrown into a new situation where there was temptation around every corner?

I have one more week on RFL before I am supposed to take a diet break again.  Even I do have to eat lunch in my car, I will persevere.  I'm NOT cheating. I have an off-plan meal on Thursday night at an awards banquet for my daughter.  Aside from that, no way.  I'm sticking to my plan.

I hope it gets easier.  I have to get a handle on this.

June 7: Re-Entry

CBC News reports, "Daisy has survived re-entry." 

After 6 long months of unemployment, my re-entry into the workplace, with all of it's temptations, was successful today.

Unlike a rocket returning to Earth, who only has to re-enter the atmosphere once amidst flame and turbulence, I'm in for this crazy ride 5 days a week for the foreseeable future. 

The place revolves around free food, vending machine food, and fast food in the immediate vicinity.  Every other week, they have "cake day" to celebrate the birthdays of the employees in that time span.  On the alternating weeks, they have BBQs with hot dogs, chips and soda pop.  People were bringing in subs, pizza and treats from Tim Horton's at lunch time.  Like kids in the lunchroom, bites and samples of other's lunches were offered.  And not to be forgotten are the shift parties that can be earned by good performance - pizza and wings for everyone!

It was actually overwhelming to be in the presence of that much food so easily at hand.  It made me doubt the willpower that I've had.  Maybe I don't have that much willpower  but sequestering myself at home while dieting has made it seem that way.  At the second break of the day, I had so such a strong urge to shove money in the vending machine and buy a bag of chips that I actually left the breakroom and went back to the training room to stick my nose in a book.  I felt shaky and nervous when I sat down from the strength of that urge.

This was a scary experience. It makes me fear a little bit for the future of my RFL plan.  This is the most strict diet I've ever done, and doing it in this atmosphere is intense.

Hopefully, each day that I stick with it, I'll find it a little bit easier. I'm going to tweak the food I take tomorrow for maximum satisfaction.  Tonight, I'm craving carbs wickedly, so I'm going to try and slay the carb beast with a root beer protein float.

Stay tuned for Day 2!

June 6: A Much Better Refeed

I got lots of great advice after my Refeed That Ate the World last week.  And like a wise dieter, I followed that advice. 

If you haven't been following along for my entire RFL diet, I'll give you a quick definition of refeeds.  A refeed is a period of time (for me it is 5 hours) in which you consume a large quantity of carbohydrates, regular intake of protein and fairly low fat.  The reason for this is that during a very strict diet like RFL, your leptin levels drop, wreaking havoc on your metabolism.  So basically, you are "resetting" the hormones that control your metabolism.  That is really oversimplified, and possibly a little bit incorrect, but it's my understanding of the process.  The Rapid Fat Loss diet I am following can be found here.

Tonight I made a tray of baked ziti.  I made a low fat healthy version that included fat free cottage cheese, fresh tomatoes, zucchini, mushroom, spinach, ground turkey and whole wheat pasta.  It was delicious.  To up my carb count I made homemade garlic bread, fairly light on the butter.  And later this evening, I'm having a serving of low fat frozen yogurt topped with fresh blackberries.  

It feels like a splurge, especially when my normal diet no longer includes sweets or carbs.  It's actually kind of decadent to eat them from time to time.  I feel a bit overly full, but I don't have a stomach ache like last time.  Best of all, I don't feel the guilt I felt last time.  On my last refeed, it was really more like a binge, a scary behavior I no longer indulge in.

I expect no ill effects tomorrow from the refeed.  I think the lower sugar content will help with the cravings I always have the day after.  It would really suck to start my new job and change of lifestyle while dealing with carb cravings! 

Tomorrow is Day 1 of Real World RFL.  Stay tuned...........