June 7: Re-Entry

CBC News reports, "Daisy has survived re-entry." 

After 6 long months of unemployment, my re-entry into the workplace, with all of it's temptations, was successful today.

Unlike a rocket returning to Earth, who only has to re-enter the atmosphere once amidst flame and turbulence, I'm in for this crazy ride 5 days a week for the foreseeable future. 

The place revolves around free food, vending machine food, and fast food in the immediate vicinity.  Every other week, they have "cake day" to celebrate the birthdays of the employees in that time span.  On the alternating weeks, they have BBQs with hot dogs, chips and soda pop.  People were bringing in subs, pizza and treats from Tim Horton's at lunch time.  Like kids in the lunchroom, bites and samples of other's lunches were offered.  And not to be forgotten are the shift parties that can be earned by good performance - pizza and wings for everyone!

It was actually overwhelming to be in the presence of that much food so easily at hand.  It made me doubt the willpower that I've had.  Maybe I don't have that much willpower  but sequestering myself at home while dieting has made it seem that way.  At the second break of the day, I had so such a strong urge to shove money in the vending machine and buy a bag of chips that I actually left the breakroom and went back to the training room to stick my nose in a book.  I felt shaky and nervous when I sat down from the strength of that urge.

This was a scary experience. It makes me fear a little bit for the future of my RFL plan.  This is the most strict diet I've ever done, and doing it in this atmosphere is intense.

Hopefully, each day that I stick with it, I'll find it a little bit easier. I'm going to tweak the food I take tomorrow for maximum satisfaction.  Tonight, I'm craving carbs wickedly, so I'm going to try and slay the carb beast with a root beer protein float.

Stay tuned for Day 2!

June 3: Dieting in the Real World

So far, I've been sort of cyber-dieting.  Most of my work has been done from home since I began this diet.  Therefore I didn't face the same temptations may of you do when I was in the delicate early stages of setting up my new habits.  No office donuts, no pizza lunches, no breakfast meetings, no vending machines.

On Monday, I'm going back to work.  Maybe for a long time, maybe for a short time - by now, most of you know how I roll.   It has been hard to work full time over the past year, because, as many of you know,  I've dealt with a major depressive episode.

But the time has come to buckle down and make some money.  The new job is not exciting, but it's a job and I'll do my very best at it.  If I write an award winning novel or get some wild 6 figure offer from somewhere else, then I'll quit. Until one of those events occurs, I'm going to stick it out and give it my all.

So, now I'm going public.  It's a little scary to bring my diet into the Real World.  The few times I've ventured out, it hasn't gone especially well.  People I used to go eat chicken wings with have found it uncomfortable if I just get a salad with no dressing.  Although I'd never venture to comment on someone else's food, others seem to have no compunction about commenting on mine.  Will the temptation of the Snickers bar in the vending machine be too much for me?

It's almost like I've been sequestered for the past 6 months.  So, I've been planning my Real World debut.

1.) pack a lunch the night before
2.) bring plenty of cold water in my cooler bag
3.) bring more snacks than I expect to need
4.) find a quiet place to read a book during breaks
5.) when faced with temptation, eat a cucumber

My hope is that the habits I've spent six months instilling in myself are well-set.  Like every other event, whether it be a shopping trip, a birthday party or an impromptu visit to a friend's, I'm hoping the act of planning will help me stick it out as I enter The Real World.