Dec. 24: Holiday Guilt Edition

This year, what I want for Christmas is for women to let go of the holiday guilt.  Everywhere I turn, another great woman is running around like a maniac, stressing herself out to make cookies, buy presents, clean the house, prep dinner for 20 people, including 3 with different food allergies, all while holding down a full-time job.

Here is my little holiday list of things NOT to feel guilty about this year:

1.) Don't feel guilty about eating during the holidays.  It's a holiday.  You aren't going to eat hors dourves and a huge meal and dessert every day.  Let go and enjoy it.  You truly cannot eat enough during that one day to undo more than a week of progress - and that is a stretch.

2.) Don't worry about having a perfectly spotless house.  In the aftermath of the present-unwrapping frenzy, any vacuuming and carpet-deep-cleaning you have done will all be for naught anyway.  Try to content yourself with sanitary and generally tidy.

3.) Don't freak out about buying the "perfect" gift for everyone.  My kids, even at 10 and 15, are just happy to have stuff under the tree to unwrap.  If there is something they truly, desperately want, I try to make it happen.  If their wishes are general, they seem to be happy with just about anything.  The same goes for extended family as well.  Unless you have a snobby, ungrateful jerk in your family, they will be touched by the effort that you made.  And if you do have a snobby, ungrateful jerk in your family, don't worry about their opinion - it's tainted.

4.)  Every bite from your kitchen doesn't have to be "from scratch".  Gasp.  The heresy!!!  Well, here it is - I have frozen green beans for tomorrows meal and bought premade cheesecake for dessert.  Take that, Martha Stewart!  To top things off, my appetizers for Christmas Eve came straight from the freezer section of Costco.  Everyone loved the food and I only had to stick it in the oven and take it out on time.

And since this is a weight loss blog, I want to reiterate one point: let's talk food.

Christmas and Christmas Eve come but once a year.  If you have established healthy eating habits throughout the rest of the year, you won't be able to gorge yourself to the same extent as usual.  Furthermore, your taste buds will have changed and you may find the foods you crave are different than the ones you craved before.  But if every year, you eat Aunt Mae's homemade pierogies with bacon and sour cream, don't deprive yourself.  Eat what you want tomorrow and enjoy it.  The day after Christmas is soon enough to get back on plan.

Treat yourself kindly at Christmas.  You've worked hard and you deserve it.

Thank you for reading my blog - it rambles, it rants, and it sometimes whines but this outlet has helped me in so many ways over the past year.

My prayer for you all this Christmas is that you may find peace and contentment.  Have a wonderful holiday with those you care about.

Dec. 11: Off-Plan Hangover

Nah, not that kind of hangover - I don't drink.  But I feel about like that poor polar bear after my off-plan meal last night.

My off-plan meal was in the plan - Friday night, going out with the girlies and having dinner and dessert.  I feel like I ate with complete reckless abandon.  It didn't feel like that much at the time but this morning I feel vaguely queasy, I slept in a awkward position and my back hurts and it feels like I just got run over by a truck.  That'll teach me.

We had Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches - I got a small - and french fries - how I love french fries.  Later we had this delicious lemon coffee cake my oldest daughter made.  That kid can bake!  (Much to my dismay at times!)  We also enjoyed some dark chocolate truffles.  Orgasmic dark chocolate truffles.  Those have been rehomed to the freezer, since making the creamy filling rock hard defeats the delicious purpose of them.

This feels like confession.  I never used to feel guilty after an off-plan meal.  It must be the adjustment - this is the first full week I've managed to stick to my plan (well, mostly sticking to the plan.)

Onward to happy thoughts.  At least today this makes me feel motivated to make deliciously healthy decisions.  After I have some toast I am off to the grocery store to make some fabulous food choices for the week.  I just got paid a nice bonus from work so I'm excited to be able to get some great stuff without counting pennies.

I feel good that I managed, despite all of the temptations around me, to stay the course this week and eat properly 90% of the time.  I wasn't perfect, but I stayed accountable, which is apparently vital for me, and I was way better than I had been before.  I'm awaiting tomorrow's weigh-in and measuring with mixed emotions.  On the one hand, I'll be bummed if everything stayed the same.  On the other hand, I know I haven't been as strict as my be necessary and I'm smart enough to realize that will affect the outcome.  I'm far less stressed by not expecting complete perfection of myself, which is a lesson that may allow me to stick with the plan for the long haul.

Mar. 28th: What's in YOUR Easter basket?

We're beginning the week of Easter, so it's time for a pep talk, my friends.

Holidays are difficult times for dieters.  We either feel like social outcasts because we brought our own chicken breast and brown rice to the family dinner, or we feel like failures  because we say "To heck with it!" and dig in with a fork in each hand.

There IS a happy medium.  It's called a healthy attitude about food.

Food is a social glue that holds families together.  What would a family event be without Grandma's famous pie, and Mom's secret-recipe hot rolls?  You don't have to give everything up - you just have to be reasonable.

First of all, ditch the guilt.  no one, except perhaps, you yourself, expects you to be perfect 100% of the time.  One off-plan meal is not going to cause a 5 pound weight gain.  It could make you fluctuate and retain some water, but in the grand scheme of things, it isn't going to make that much of a difference if you've had a healthy week up until that point.

Unfortunately a lot of people see Easter ( or any other holiday) as a week-long extravaganza of "to-heck-with-its."  That is the attitude that will get you into trouble.  An entire week of eating with reckless abandon WILL be reflected in your weight loss efforts.

So what's a chocolate bunny loving girl to do?

Plan ahead.  What traditions are important to you?  If you had to choose, would it be the family dinner at Grandma's or the brunch at your house?  What is your very favorite Easter candy treat?  Is it the marshmallow chicks or the solid chocolate bunny?  Make some decisions, my friend, and stick to them.

For me, it's a little easier.  My family is in the states and my kids go to the big Easter dinner at their Grandma's on their Dad's side.  We do any of our shin-digs here, which means I am in control of the food.

For my Easter candy, I chose a little bag of dark chocolate Eggies, which I have already thoroughly enjoyed, with no guilt (okay, not much guilt.)  We'll be having brunch at our house right after church, so I'm going to make a ham steak and split it between us, some breakfast potatoes, some eggs, a fruit salad, and cinnamon rolls.  I'm going to indulge in a bit of everything and love every bite of it.  But I won't have tons of leftovers calling my name later on in the day, when the kids have gone to their grandma's.  I can keep things tight for the rest of the day.  As well, the day before I plan on working out hard and keeping my diet tight.  No harm done with my splurge.

If, despite all your good intentions, you go overboard, the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about it.  I think we often fail in our efforts because we demand nothing less than perfection from ourselves.  We seem to think, "Well, I already messed up, so who cares what I do for the rest of the day !!!(weekend, week, month).

The very next meal is your opportunity to get things right - don't pass it up because you made a mistake earlier in the day.  Your victory is not in never failing, but in starting again immediately!

What Easter treats will you be indulging in this year?

Mar. 10: Peer Pressure

Okay tell me the truth! Do you think I'm really weird and food obsessed? Do you have the urge to feed me nachos? Do you find my proclivity for making "healthy junk" to be odd? And what about my obsession with chemical food additives?

Well, if you find this normal, you're in the right place. Peer pressure is just crazy. I went out with the girls recently and a couple of them actually seemed huffy when I was not interested in the fried appetizer plate and just got grilled chicken and steamed veggies (which was delicious BTW). Sometimes I think when you have particularly good eating habits it makes others feel guilty about their own dietary "transgressions." Then they become like the crack dealers of the French fry world, urging you to try "just one" so they don't feel guilty.

I'm learning (somewhat slowly) that most people don't actually want to know the origin of the nasty chemicals lurking in their foods. I'm trying to stop being the Jehovah's Witness of the Clean Lifestyle, and just do my own thing. If people ask, though, look out!

Working out, I'm sure will be the next thing that causes people to think I have a disorder. While I am partially unemployed, I've decided to take the bull by the horns and kick my workouts up about 100 notches. How many people really have the time and inclination to work out for 3 hours a day? Not too many but I am determined to become fit and active. Not in an obsessive way, but in a way that I can fit every single possible fitness experience into my repertoire. I want to run, I want to bike, I want to lift heavy and I want to rock climb. I want to try all sorts of classes and learn a martial art. I want to hike and swim. And don't forget rowing! I have the time, all I need is the money and the opportunity!

I think life is going to be easier when I find some friends that are interested in fitness and nutrition. I love my friends and cherish the time spent with them, but I know some of them are beginning to find my choice of conversational topics rather boring. It's time to broaden my circle to include others with the same goals (and hopefully some who have already reached those goals for new inspiration!)

As for obsession, sometimes I think the way to make a lasting change is to be somewhat obsessed, especially when embarking on a path that leads the absolute opposite direction from where you were before. If I forget my goals, it will be a lot easier to orally vacuum up a plateful of cookies. If I lose sight of the big picture, how will I pry my butt off the couch if the weather is less than stellar? I believe I prefer the word "focus" instead of "obsession".

So that's what I'll say from now on - I'm FOCUSED!!!

Feb. 10: Cheat meals

Last night my daughter and I were unexpectedly invited to dinner. We haven't eaten out in nearly a month so we jumped at the chance.

I haven't had a real cheat meal for a while - about 2 weeks, so I decided to have my cheat at dinner last night. It took me forever to decide what I wanted, and I finally chose Southwestern Potato Skins as an appetizer. Yep, fried, I know. The skins were topped with chipotle grilled chicken, I asked them to go lightly on the cheese, and they were drizzled with a garlic-yogurt dressing. Really yummy, although the salt was a bit of a shock to my system.

Here's what I didn't get: Lime margaritas, an entree, a Caesar salad and dessert.

I just had an appetizer and a glass of water and I was as happy as could be with that.

Months ago, I would have had the appetizer along with all the other stuff I mentioned. I felt really great about this meal, although it raised some eyebrows. It was weird to eat with other people who eat anything they want, imbibe caloric drinks and seriously contemplate dessert. I'm pretty sheltered since I am not employed right now. I generally only eat with my kids.

Here are some tips to adding a few cheat meals to your life:

1.) Don't have a cheat meal more than once a week. More frequently than that and you run the risk of re-igniting your former bad habits.

2.) Take note of how it makes you feel. When I eat a sugar-y dessert, it gives me a pounding headache the next day. I feel sluggish and lethargic. When I eat something high in fat, I get really bad heartburn. This realization helps keep me on the "clean and narrow".

3.) Don't let a cheat meal take over your day. So, you went way overboard. You might as well eat with abandon for the rest of the day and get right back on track tomorrow, right? WRONG. If you got a ticket for running a red light, would it be okay to run red lights for the rest of the day, since you had already gotten a ticket? Not if you wanted to keep your driver's license!!! When you have a meal that is less than clean, get right back on track with the very next meal that you eat.

4.) Don't feel guilty! Guilt is highly overrated. It makes us feel like failures, and when we feel like failures we do silly things, like binge, go off-plan, or quit altogether. So plan your meal, look forward to it, savor it, and move on to the next clean meal.

Have a great day!

Dec. 24 - Holiday Guilt and Perfectionism

Well, it all boils down to ONE BIG DAY. The weeks (and for some, months) of prep are over and tomorrow, it's showtime.

As I read my friend's journals, it makes me realize just how much stress we are all under during this time of year. And most of it, we bring on ourselves by expecting perfection. I have been preaching this sermon to everyone who will listen. (And some of those that just slow down enough for me to talk really fast!)

Are you stressed because one of the dishes you made did not turn out well? No one will really remember it with all the other fabulous food that is there (unless it is particularly notable like the time I read the recipe wrong and put an entire CUP of cinnamon in my apple pie - yup we talk about that one still - it's hilarious!).

Are you stressed because you feel like you did not buy gifts that were nice enough or plentiful enough for your kids? Money is tight for a lot of us this year, and they are kids getting gifts. They are going to be happy. Kids are easy!

Are you stressed because your in-laws and assorted relatives are crazy? Remember, one day these people won't be around. . Even if they are just plain out there, we gave birth - we can get through anything for one day, even our relatives.

Are you stressed because your MIL or mom is overly critical? In her misguided way, perhaps she is trying to help. Remember, she used to be the one in charge of the big wing-ding. Letting go of that may be hard.

Are you stressed because you fell off the wagon of your eating plan? Christmas is one day in a very long year. The other days of the year, when you follow your plan and eat clean are the days that matter. Don't feel guilty for enjoying some treats you would not normally eat. Give yourself a little break and get back on the horse tomorrow.

There are a million reasons to be stressed and mostly they boil down to guilt. Well, guess what? We aren't perfect and never will be. We must learn to laugh about the mistakes and move on, embracing them in the circle of our memories. Guilt is a huge saboteur in my own journey of clean eating. When I feel guilty or bad about something I reach for the nearest crappy food and stuff my face. One way to circumvent that is to simply refuse to feel guilty!

Please remember: This year extend your kindness, love and charity to yourselves.