May 8: 46 Reasons to Keep Going

I know I have been the world's worst blogger lately.  I've been very busy having a pity party.  Let me tell you what this has accomplished for me.

NOTHING.

I haven't lost anything since I've been dieting again.  Here's what I've learned.  Whining does NOT burn calories.  Saying "screw it" and eating things that I know are not good for me accomplishes NOTHING except keeping the weight on.  Carrying around a chip on your shoulder does NOT build muscles. Making excuses is NOT an aerobic workout.

I've had to convince myself today that I have reasons, lots of them, to keep on going.

1.)  I refuse to be a quitter.
2.)  Eating healthy food makes me feel better.
3.)  Eating healthy food provides a better example for my daughters.
4.)  Making exercise a regular part of my day helps me deal with stress.
5.)  Walking outside in the nice weather helps manage the depression.
6.)  Even if I never lose another pound, I am a healthier person than I was on December 1, 2009.
7.)  Even if I never lose another pound, I have more endurance than I did on December 1, 2009.
8.)  I can't eat crap and expect my daughters to eat healthfully.
9.)  I have a blog to write - what kind of example is giving up on my diet to my readers?
10.) Adversity builds character.
11.)  I can walk 10K without being thoroughly exhausted.
12.)  I can hike places I never thought I'd be able to hike, at steep elevations and over rocky terrain.
13.) I'm teaching my children about living an active lifestyle.
14.) I have swimsuits to wear and beaches to visit this summer.
15.) It may not be on my initial timeline, but I have a success story to write - I vowed this to my Dad.
16.) Giving up is not on my list of acceptable options.
17.) If I keep dieting for two more months and don't lose weight, I will still be better off than if I don't diet for the next two months.
18.)  All this walking is great for my geriatric dog.
19.)  When I walk the dog I don't have to pick up poop in the backyard.
20.)  If this is a test of my determination, I intend to pass.
21.)  I actually like healthy food better than unhealthy food.
22.)  Eating well has become a habit, not an effort.
23.)  My skin looks much better since I began eating healthier.
24.)  I look younger since I've begun working out and eating well.
25.)  Sometimes my kids have trouble keeping up with me instead of the other way around.
26.) The aches and pains I was having before the diet have subsided greatly. 
27.)  I no longer have an 8 Tylenol a day habit to deal with aching joints and headaches.
28.) My acid reflux has greatly improved.
29.) I can haul laundry up and down the stairs without getting winded.
28.) I'm out of my "really fat" clothes and into my "sorta fat" clothes - of which I have far more variety.
29.) I'm unemployed and have all the time in the world to make this happen.
30.) I'm unemployed and therefore am not around the temptation of the office donuts and lunches out.
31.) I've lost enough weight that I don't feel the urge to wear a ski mask to Wal Mart so no one recognizes me.
32.) If I stop dieting I will gain back every pound and then some - I know this from past experience.
33.) Lots of people ask me for diet and nutrition advice - I can't let them down.
34.) Walking to do errands saves money.
35.) Walking to do errands saves the environment.
36.) No human can consistently eat at a caloric deficit and fail to lose weight - it's going to happen.
37.) I respect myself more when I eat grilled chicken and veggies than when I eat french fries and ice cream.
38.) I truly care about my health.
39.) I want to be around a long time to enjoy my children and grandchildren.
40.) Life can't be lived to it's fullest if I'm too fat to walk up a flight of stairs.
41.) My 85 year old Dad was still walking a mile a day until 4 months before his death from heart failure. He is my example of determination.
42.) I'm never going to get a freakin' date if I don't lose some more weight.
43.) I want to teach my kids about determination.
44.) I love my children and want to be a good example in every way, mentally and physically.
45.) I love myself and my unique qualities more than I did before.
46.) I am a fit person in my mind - I deserve the body that matches my self-image.

There you are - 46 reasons not to quit.  Never say die.  It's not over til I'm dead.  So, despite the anger, the disappointment and the frustration, I'll just keep going, putting one foot in front of the other.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. ~ Confucius.

April 10: The Tree of Will

You know where magic comes from?  It comes from your will to achieve.  It comes from some place deep inside that goes untapped in lots of people.  With the right sense of determination, you can make anything happen.

I'm going to post a picture of my favorite tree.  I call her the Tree of Will.  (I refer to the tree as female for whatever reason).  She rests along the trail that I take my daily dog walks on.  Last winter we had a storm with very high winds and lots of trees got blown over into the river.  They all died, except this one tree that had something special: determination and the will to live.

Notice how she is completely uprooted and half submerged in the river.  And yet, she is budding out with leaves like she is still standing proudly at the side of the river.  She didn't give up when her roots got yanked up.  She pulled some kind of magic trick of will and BLOOMED.  She said to herself, "It's Spring, dammit, and I am going to bloom just like I always have, despite these unpleasant circumstances."

There's a lesson here.  This tree gives me a daily dose of inspiration that I wanted to share with you.  When we meet adversity do we grit our teeth and just bloom anyway, or do we accept that adversity as an excuse to achieve less than our potential?

I've been guilty of that, and I'm sure the rest of you have too.  It's interesting to look back at my life and wonder what unexplored roads I would have taken if I had the determination of this tree. 

With my weight-loss plan, I do.  I'm not going to let the slow weight loss get in my way.  I'm not going to let the fact that my new medication is not "weight neutral" affect my outcome.  I'm just going to plug away at it, and however long it takes, it takes.  I'll do everything humanly possible to make it happen as efficiently as possible.  I'll continue to study and learn.  I may get frustrated.  I may have a little hissy fit here and there.

But be assured, in the end, I WILL BLOOM.