Nov. 6: Thank you!

All of the feedback and encouragement I have gotten from you all has been amazingly helpful at getting me back on track.  I don't know if this applies to the rest of you all, but diet, weight loss, and whether I'm on track or not isn't something I can really talk about in my everyday life.  None of my friends are really dieting, so the topic is boring to them.  I work with a bunch of guys who would just stare at me blankly.  The people that I do know who are dieting are still in that place of justifying every bite they put in their mouth.  I'm good enough at doing that - I sure don't need someone else making up excuses for me!

So really, that leaves a forum that a post on with people I just adore, and this blog.

I believe, strongly, that without this blog to keep me honest, I'd have quit long ago.  I'd never have hit my goal weight and I would have probably yo-yoed back up to a higher weight than last year's Maximum Density.

I also love sharing recipes with you! I really enjoy cooking and being able to share some tricks and ideas is so much fun to me!

This week's menu:

Monday: Honey Garlic Meatballs, brown rice and steamed green beans
Tuesday: Mexican pita pizza
Wednesday: Ground chicken and bean burritos
Thursday: BBQ Beef Chili
Friday: Upside-down Nachos


What are upside down nachos?  I posted the recipe last year but it's definitely worth posting again.  I thought I had a pic somewhere but I can't seem to find it.

I use some of my big batch Mexican ground chicken for this (recipe below)

UPSIDE DOWN NACHOS

In an oven safe pan, layer, in this order:

~1 serving of ground chicken mixed with 1/4 cup of black beans

~ chopped veggies of choice (think peppers, onions, tomato, etc)

~1/2 serving (about 25 grams) of finely shredded cheddar

~ 6 blue corn tortilla chips, crumbled

~ the other half serving of cheese

Bake this in the oven at 400* until hot, bubbly and delicious.  (5-10 minutes)  When it comes out of the oven, top with plain, low fat yogurt and salsa, and perhaps some homemade guacamole if you are feeling industrious.

I love this because it gets rid of my pub-food appetizer cravings.  My kids love it because it has a funny name.  6 tortilla chips never made anyone fat, and neither did a bit of cheese.

BIG BATCH MEXICAN GROUND CHICKEN

2 pounds of extra lean ground chicken

chopped onion and garlic (to taste)

sprinkle of sea salt

chili powder (I like LOTS)

1/2 cup of barbecue sauce or ketchup

In a nonstick pan, cook the chicken, onion and garlic until chicken is cooked through, stirring to keep it broken up.  Once chicken is cooked through, season with sea salt and chili powder.  Stir in your choice of bbq sauce or ketchup and heat through until hot and thoroughly mixed.

There are a billion and one uses for this big batch of yumminess.  I'll list a few.

~ Taco or burrito filling

~ Mexican pizza topping

~ Mixed with brown rice

~ Upside down nachos

~ Meat for chili

~ Taco salad

~ In a pinch, stir it into canned spaghetti sauce and serve over pasta

I make a batch of this nearly every week - it's a staple in our house!



Nov. 6: Still Going Well!

So far, so good.  I have finally stayed on plan for a few days in a row!

I managed to stick to my menu this week.  As well, when I got faced with grabbing something on the go, I got the healthiest options possible. At a workplace lunch, I only had two very small pieces of pizza, skipped the wings and breadsticks, and didn't feel like I was deprived.  On the go, I grabbed a bean burrito and a bottle of water.  I was pleased with that.

My calorie intake has been under 1800 all week, but so far, the scale isn't showing it at all.  It is so hard for me to budge the scale (downward at least).  On the bright side, I feel much better.  I feel lighter and more energetic when I eat healthy unprocessed foods.

My challenge this week is finding time to exercise. I don't know how on earth I am going to fit it in, but that is the missing link in my "get back to a healthy weight" plan.  I'm going to ponder that today and post my plan.

This morning, I'm taking my girls to the mall to wander around while I get my haircut.  Lunch will be at the food court.  I'm going to get a Greek Salad with grilled chicken at the souvlaki place - a pretty good option from the choices available.  This weekend will be a rush of birthday parties and chauffeuring kids, but I plan to get out on at least two long walks with the dog.

I'll be back this evening with an exercise plan!

November 4: Motivation, at Last

Of course I had to hit a solid 10 pound weight gain from my goal weight to actually find my motivation, but Daisy's got her groove back today.

Here is what I did not eat today:

~ the donuts a co-worker brought in to share
~ the gigantic Tootsie Roll a friend gave me
~ the caramel-filled, chocolate-covered ball of yumminess a customer brought me
~ nary one sip of Diet Coke crossed my lips today!

And somehow, after weeks of shoveling in everything I could find to eat, I didn't especially want any of this stuff.

Wow.

It makes me wonder if the soda pop is the culprit.  I had all those months (8 of them) where I really didn't have craving issues, and drank no Diet Coke.  It will be interesting to track!

Today's eats:

4 graham crackers with peanut butter
fat free yogurt with protein powder and granola
ground chicken with veggies and 20 grams of tortilla chips crumbled on top
stir fry with chicken breast, broccoli and mushrooms
2 more graham crackers cause they are yummy~

This tallies up to

1649 calories
150 g carbs
60 g fat
140 g protein

I'm really really really happy with this.  It is the most control I have felt in a while.

Dear Motivation,

I've really missed you while you have been away.  Things aren't the same without you, that's for sure.  Things that would not be the least bit enticing when I have you in my life are nearly addictive in their power to suck me in.  It's like peer pressure from a group of bad friends when you are away.

I need your steadying presence so I can actually lose this weight and figure out how to maintain the loss.  Please don't leave again!  I promise to make it worth your while if you never break up with me again.  Just imagine the things we can do together!

Your friend,
Daisy

Nov. 1: Starting the Month Off Right

I just love a new month. Something about turning that page on the calendar always makes me feel a rush of anticipation, that feeling of a fresh start.  I feel like I've put the bad stuff from the previous month away, just by the mere act of turning that page.

So, in honor of starting the month off right, here is my weekly meal plan.

Monday: Chicken soft tacos, brown rice, guacamole and beans
Tuesday: Leftover Mexican food
Wednesday: BBQ beef chili
Thursday: Stir fry w/ cooked chicken breasts and broccoli
Friday: BBQ chicken pita pizzas

Already made are grilled chicken breasts and BBQ beef chili.  Today, since I have the day off, I'm making a yummy fiesta meal for supper.  I have salad fixings, baby carrots, and prepped veggies for the stir fry.  I need to pick up some fruit and the week is set.

Did everyone have a fun Halloween? I managed to limit my indulgence to a few packets of Twizzlers.  I also humiliated my dog by dressing her as a princess.

Tip of the day:  Freeze the Halloween candy your child is not going to eat this week and take it out in the mornings to put in his or her lunch pail.  You are less likely to eat it if you risk breaking a tooth to do so!

Oct. 30: Fresh Start

This morning I got up and I looked at my disorganized messy apartment.  I felt full of energy this morning so I began to scrub and tidy.  Within the hour, the living room and kitchen were tidy, fresh and clean.

I started to think how this can be a symbol of your life.  If everything is a disaster and you have to hunt through your kitchen to find the can opener, are you as likely to cook a nice healthy meal from scratch or are you going to call for Chinese take out because you can't find the stove?

Hopefully the organized kitchen will encourage me to make the healthy meals that I used to always have on hand.  My kitchen scale is at the ready, waiting to weigh my healthy portions of protein servings. My pots and pans are neatly put away and I know where everything is.  I have loads of counter space for prepping fruits and veggies, instead of having to shove things over to make room for this task.

I have a hopeful energy about myself on this new day.  I feel a very fresh start coming on.  I feel in control of this outrageous eating that I have been indulging in.

I've really undone a lot of my hard work.  My weight is up to 178.  Later today I am going to weigh and measure and have a definite starting point.  I'm not waiting for tomorrow for my life to happen.

Cheers to you all and have a happy Halloween weekend!

Oct. 27: A Better Day

Today was better.  I tried to control things a little bit differently today.  For example, in my lunch, I packed a controlled amount of crunchy-salties.  I had a bean burrito (homemade) with a handful of tortilla chips.  It really kept the manic munchies away throughout the afternoon.

Tonight, at dinner out with my daughter, I didn't go nuts, I didn't stress.  I had what I wanted but less of it.  I had a grilled chicken sandwich and ditched the bun, and I had fries.

So dietarily speaking, today was not spectacular.

But feeling in control: well, today was head and shoulders above yesterday.

Tomorrow, maybe I can put it all together and have an all-around successful day!

Oct. 26: This just isn't healthy

Why the skull pic?  I had no idea what kind of photo could accurately capture my day, so I picked this one just because I like it.

Today, I recognized that my behavior just isn't healthy at all.

It was a really stressful day.

First, I had to yell at 3 people before 9 am.  This didn't start my day off well, and I hate having to be grumpy at work.  Sometimes, though, a chick has to put her foot down and make some racket or the guys she supervises just won't listen.  This was one of those days.

Then the phone calls started.

Many of you know about my recent financial issues.  After being unemployed for over a year, I finally had to make the decision to walk away from my house and car.  At this point, the house is still on the market and I am hoping to sell it before it gets foreclosed on.

I really felt as though I had come to terms with all of this - I made my decision, I downscaled my life, and I was at peace with it.  But today, I got calls at work from not one, but both of the banks holding mortgages on my house.

First came the feeling of humiliation: trying to discuss personal finances with a million ears around.  Next, came a bit of anger: I told the person calling that she was not to call my workplace again and gave her an address to which she could send mail regarding the matter.  She kept shouting at questions and then called me back 10 minutes later.  I know that I have not followed on my part of the agreement - I have stopped paying the mortgages, but still, there are laws about this kind of stuff.

Then the headache began.  It crept up my neck and surrounded my skull and squeezed like a boa constrictor.  My already short fuse got shorter until there was no fuse at all, just kind of a wick before the dynamite.

But that is where it gets scary.  I started thinking about food.  Salty fried disgusting food.  I tried to distract myself with popcorn but it didn't work.  I took two bites of my salad and then felt this rush of....desperation.  I wanted to get out of there and I wanted to eat and eat and eat.  I told everyone I was taking 30 minutes (I had planned to eat at my desk today).  I immediately went to McDonalds and got a burger and fries.  I read a magazine and inhaled that food so quickly my esophagus hurt.  I had to sit there for 10 minutes after eating to allow the food to settle.  I felt such dread at the idea of going back to work and picking up that phone.....well, it was tough to go back.

But back I went, and I was calmer and more productive.  My daughter is at her dad's for the night and dinner was not greatly improved over lunch.  I had Doritoes and refried beans (homemade refried beans - no added fat but I'm sure the Doritoes cancel out the virtuousness of the beans.)

I don't want to get fat again.  I don't want to wake up in 6 months and realize that I am back up over 200 pounds.  At this point, I am 10 pounds over my "healthy weight."  It's not outrageous and it is losable.  But I have to come up with a better way to deal with this anxiety.

I'd like to tell you the plan for tomorrow, but I don't really have one yet.

Basically, I'm at the point that all I can think to do right now is pray for an answer, and for the strength to overcome.

I write this because I know many of us that fight this battle have felt overwhelmed by the "enemy" - the complete loss of control that takes over in a difficult situation.  We aren't alone.  We need to share it and make that burden lighter.  We need to throw away the guilt because this is like an illness.  We can get better but we must realize it isn't a personal weakness or a reflection of us that relapses occur.

My next meal, as I often say, will be better.