Square One

Well, here I am, nearly a year later, almost back at Square One.  I'm just over 200 pounds.  I seem to be great at losing weight and horrible at maintaining the loss.

Set backs don't just knock me back a step or two - it seems like they hit things out of the park for me.

Last October, we lost our home and our car.  No real harm, in the grand scheme of things.  We don't live in a cardboard box and we have a different car (one almost as old as my teenage daughter, but wheels and a working motor.)

When we moved out of the house, I hurt my back.  Badly.  I herniated two discs, which completely eradicated my exercise program.  More than six months later, I'm still struggling with the injury.  I'm working hard to find a program that doesn't worsen the pain.

I'm back at work, full time, thank the Lord.  I have a job I love, but it's high stress and that triggers me to shovel in the food that is abundantly present.

Biggest of all, and the worst of the stressors, has been the death of my children's father.  We did not get along.  There was not a lot of love lost between us.  However, it was somewhat sudden, my girls found his dead body and were subsequently traumatized.  They are devastated and their lives have changed forever.  My oldest has moved back in with me.  My heart just breaks for them and home life can be very tense.  As always, food is the "blankie" of choice for me.

Obviously, I've lost these 35 pounds before.  I know how to get rid of them.  I know the lifestyle I need and want to live.  I know how I want to feel and how I want to look. I know that accountability is necessary for me.  I know that it is TIME.

So today marks the day that I am back at it.  I am eating vegetarian now, so the foods are a bit different than before.  The budget is very tight, so things will look a little different than the last time around.

I will be planning my meals for the week, cooking ahead of time, and eating clean.  I'm counting calories and staying accountable.  I can't tell you how many times I have considered starting up the blog again because I really missed writing it.  But the timing was wrong.

Please forgive me for disappearing on you all.  I hope you will stick with me as I backtrack through this journey again.

^ I think this must be a photo of ME ^

Jan. 25: Still vegging out!

Sorry - I missed the big weigh-in post on Sunday.  I'm now down to 189.  That is 3 pounds in the week and a bit that I have been a vegetarian.

This, of course, makes me ecstatically happy.  I've caved a few times and had some junk food, but none with meat.  I think just removing the meat and replacing it with other protein sources has been enough to allow me a little leeway on the salty-crunchies.

This week, I had a meal plan but it's shot to heck because my baked beans were gross.  So, I've recreated my meal plan and I'm including a recipe.

Tuesday: Baked mac and cheese
Wednesday: Bean burritos with green chilies and tomato salsa
Thursday: Leftover mac and cheese, steamed broccoli
Friday: Broccoli pizza

I had to work late tonight so we had leftover baked mac and cheese. Here is my high protein recipe for it:




1 bag of pasta, cooked (we used wide egg noodles)
1 can of cream of whatever soup (we used c of mushroom)
1 tub of low-fat or fat-free cottage cheese
1 handful of shredded sharp cheddar cheese
2 eggs (optional)
Seasoning salt to taste

~ Mix all ingredients except the pasta in an oven proof container. Preheat oven to 350*F
~ Gently stir in pasta and bake at 350 for 35 minutes.
~ Let it sit for 10 minutes to thicken.

Makes 6 generous servings.

You can add meat and veggies to this if you'd like and turn it into more of a casserole - we usually just have it plain with a veggie on the side. My daughters absolutely LOVE this mac and cheese and go back for seconds and thirds. 

So, I'm loving the veggie thing and as I read more and more about it, I'm really glad I've made the change for so many reasons.

One thing I noticed that is sort of funny is this:

Sometimes my 10 year old comes home from school and says, "Mom, the kids made fun of my lunch because I had a blood orange - they said it was disgusting and called me a vampire" or "Mom, the boy sitting next to me said my stir-fry looked gross."

I work with a bunch of guys.  I didn't make a big deal out of going vegetarian but they've noticed.  You should hear all the stories they tell me about :
~ vegetarians they know who dropped dead of a heart attack
~ it's God's plan for us to eat meat
~ don't you want a big juicy steak?
~ did you know that plants die too, just like animals - your broccoli screamed when they picked it

The list could go on and on, but it makes me laugh to realize I work with a bunch of 40 year old 5th graders!

I hope you are all having a wonderful and productive week!

Jan. 22: How long before it's official?

Tomorrow it will be one week since I stopped eating meat.  I've noticed a few differences during this week.

1.)  It seems easier to say "no thanks" to food if I choose to now.  I feel like I have willpower again.

2.)  I don't feel guilty when I say "yes" to food.  I went to a party yesterday and had cake and enjoyed every bite without guilt because the rest of my day was moderate in calories.

3.) It's way easier to keep my calories lower when I don't eat meat.

4.) It makes it way tougher to find a drive-thru to hit.  The only thing I can think of that I could eat in the car would be a bean burrito from Taco Bell, which, when compared to an Angus Bacon Burger with Cheddar and fries, seems like a pretty reasonable choice.  In fact, I ate at home all week except for work functions.

I wonder how long before I can officially call myself a vegetarian?  Two weeks?  A month?  It seems sort of premature to do it right now.  I can tell you though, I have no craving whatsoever for meat, which, while it really surprises me, makes life much easier.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day - wish me luck!

Jan. 18: Another Day in Paradise...

And yet another day on the veggie wagon - woohoo! 

I really hope this helps the weight loss battle.  I am feeling better digestively today, thank goodness!  My gosh - that was pretty rough.

Today's Eats:

~ WW English muffin, natural pb ~

~ FF yogurt, protein powder, blueberries, granola ~

~ baked veggie rotini w/ spinach and mushrooms, tomato sauce ~

~ quiche w/ spinach, cheddar and mushrooms ~

No soda pop and no excess sugar today!  I'm especially pleased with that because two people brought in donuts and one brought in cookies.  All I had was one donut hole and felt perfectly content with that.  BIG CHANGE!  Being broke and having no money for junk food helps, but I realized by eating vegetarian, it rules out a lot of things - trips through McDonald's drive thru for example.  Unless I feel like french fries are a reasonable lunch, there just aren't too many "eat-in-the-car" options.

I'm staying off the scale for a week - not easy since I tend to be a daily weigher-inner!

Happy Tuesday - one day closer to the weekend~

Jan. 17: Day 2 in Veggieworld

A successful day 2 today!!! Even with the company buying dinner I stuck to a plan - hooray!

I've had so much trouble getting on the wagon of any kind of food plan that I'm thrilled to get through day 2.  I know, 2 days isn't long to stick with something but for the way things have been going for me lately, it is a cause worthy of celebration!

Today's Eats:

~ whole wheat English muffin w/ natural pb, skim milk
~ fat free yogurt w/ protein powder, blueberries, granola
~ egg salad sandwich on whole wheat, baked potato chips
~ eggplant Parmesan (no pasta), half a roll

When I look at this, I see that I need to up the actual fruits and veggies.  My original lunch was a veggie pasta dish but when I learned dinner was Italian food, I wasn't dying for it twice in one day.

My tummy is rebelling a little bit, however.  I spent a bit more time, ahem, (tmi alert) in the bathroom than usual today.  I hope this part goes away soon - or perhaps it is my key to weight loss success!

Jan. 16: New Plan...Again

Yet again, I have a new plan of action.

First of all, I'm sorry that I'm sucking so much at blogging.  While I realize that blogging has been a key to success for me up until now, I've had a lot on my plate lately and it's been hard to put my personal stuff aside and concentrate on  this.

Years ago (15 to be exact) I had been a vegetarian for 5 years.  I was at my all-time healthiest and most fit with very little effort whatsoever.  I'm sure that maintaining at age 41 vs. maintaining at age 25 will not be quite as carefree, but I'm ready to try anything.

For many reasons, I've been toying with becoming a vegetarian again.

~ The Environment ~

~  Health ~

~ Animal Welfare ~

~ Weight Loss ~

~ Economic Reasons ~

Not necessarily in that order.

So this week's meal plan is a little different and I have photographic evidence of it.  Because my 10 year old daughter is an athlete and not a vegetarian, I did some prep for her including meat.  We'll see how things go - we as a family will have several vegetarian days a week, but I'm not going to insist she follow my lead.

Oh, by the way, before we get into the week's meal plan, I didn't lose this week but I didn't gain either.  Considering Thursday's (or should I call it Cookieday's?) fiasco, I'm content with that.

Our nicely prepped eats for the week:

I bought a package of tart shells at the grocery store today to make life easier - I'm going to work on making my own for next time.  With the shells, I made wee little spinach quiches for me and beef pot pies from leftover beef stew for the little one.

I made a big batch of baked rigatoni (vegetarian) which we enjoyed today with garlic bread.  (recipe below)

For quick sandwiches I made devilled egg salad (recipe for this as well). I haven't made it yet, but I'm going to finish off this evening by making a broccoli cauliflower salad.  I have some chicken breast made for my daughter and she can eat the other stuff as side dishes.  I have to limit the eggs for my daughter, as she is mildly allergic.

Baked Rigatoni



2 cups of cooked whole wheat pasta

1/2 a container of low fat cottage cheese

1 package of chopped spinach (thawed)

Finely chopped mushroom, onion and garlic to taste

1 can of pasta sauce

Shredded cheese of choice

1 egg (optional)

Olive oil

Parmesan or Romano cheese

In a large baking dish, coat the sides lightly with olive oil for an easier clean up.

Meanwhile, heat the oven to 375*F

On the stove top, saute all the veggies until lightly browned and fragrant.

In a large bowl, mix cottage cheese, shredded cheese, and egg, if using.

After all is prepared, mix everything but the Parmesan in the baking dish.  Bake at 375* for 45 minutes.  Top with the grated Parmesan or Romano and return to the oven, heat turned off, for 10 more minutes.  Serve while hot and delicious.

Devilled Egg Salad

6 eggs, hard boiled

1 tsp honey

1 tbsp yellow mustard

1 tbsp light mayo

seasoning salt to taste

Chop the hard boiled eggs and add the other ingredients.  Stir lightly with a fork to mix.  Spread on bakery fresh buns or bread and top with lettuce and tomato.

Jan. 9: Drumroll....

Finally, the scale is moving downward.

I can't believe how quickly I gained back 22 pounds.  Apparently, the physics law of weight goes like this:

Weight goes on twice as fast as it comes off.

So finally, at long last, I've actually lost two pounds.

How, you ask?

Simply by not eating anything that did not come from my own kitchen.  I didn't eat any takeout all week, which nearly killed me.  Also, I'm eating fruit for an afternoon snack.  So far, so good!  Another change I made?  I only had a half of a Diet Coke all week - otherwise I've been sticking to water.

This weekend was tough - I had a wedding shower to go to.  Social stuff makes me very anxious, so a stuffed in a few handfuls of cinnamon hearts to bolster my courage. I have to confess, I ate with some reckless abandon when I got there, too.  I ate cake and dammit, it was delicious.

Back in the saddle now for supper tonight, though - something simple from my kitchen!

Meal planning for this week is off to a rough start, however.  I had to work all day Saturday, I finished making my gift for the bride (a recipe and meal planning book, done scrapbook style) Saturday night and Sunday morning, and then went to the shower all afternoon.  I'm way to much of a homebody to consider this a weekend, gotta tell you.  My house is less than tidy since I had no spare time and I got absolutely NO cooking done.  I feel pretty stressed about this.  I did 3 rounds of Flylady cleaning when I got home, and that helped a little. I'm going to do one more round during commercials in DD10's disaster room.

Monday

Crock Pot roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans

Tuesday

Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry

Wednesday

Mexican Pizza

Thursday

Salad with Roasted Chicken

Friday

Enchiladas (I have the day off!)

So the week hinges on getting that roast in the crock pot in the morning!  Everything else on the menu is from items I already have in the cupboards or freezer. Wish me luck, my friends!