Dec. 8: Spilling the Soup

Today I realized that I have a talent not everyone possesses.  It's hard to be humble about this one, so I'll just put it out there.

I can turn anything into an excuse for eating a cheeseburger.

This morning I got up and dutifully packed my lunch.  I did my hair (better hair day today) and my makeup and got dressed in something OTHER than that blue uniform shirt.  I packed a healthy lunch of vegetable soup.

At 1:00 I finally got a chance to eat my lunch.  Then I realized that my beloved vegetable soup had spilled all over my lunch bag.  Since I did not have the urge to slurp it out f the bottom of my bag, I gleefully went to the closest restaurant (McDonald's) and devoured my favorite junk meal, an Angus burger and fries.

Over the totals of the week, I'm still okay.  I'm still in diet numbers.  Today, however, my totals are:

Calories:  2221

Carbs: 222

Fat: 105

Protein: 104

Sigh.  Yeah, McDonald's isn't doing my fat rolls any favors, unless keeping the rolls rolling is considered a positive thing.  And I lied.... I did love it.

Today was a better day for back pain.  I functioned all day long on only two ibuprofen, which is nearly record setting for me.  I really miss the gym.  I was enjoying the heavy lifting so much, particularly the results.  This weekend, I'm going to research some exercise options that won't aggravate my back.

Have a great evening!

Dec.7: TMI Tuesday

"Tuesday is a day of the week occurring after Monday and before Wednesday."

I was at a loss for a specific topic today.  I wanted to come up with something catchy, like "Tequila Tuesday", but since I don't drink I figured that would be silly.  When I googled Tuesday, I got the above definition, which I thought was funny in a warped, Daisy-ish kind of way.  Following, if you make it to the end, you will find the TMI portion of this post.

Onward to accountability.

I ate exactly the same thing I had yesterday, minus the thrice-damned tarts.

Calories:  1334
Carbs: 150
Fat: 42
Protein: 97

I love it - pretty close to a perfect breakdown.  Maybe another 15 grams or so of protein, but I'm really pleased.

In case you are wondering what my menu consists of, here it is, good, bad and ugly-ish.

Multigrain toast w/ natural peanut butter, skim milk
Nonfat yogurt with protein powder, blueberries and granola
Chicken breast w/ 1 cup of veggies (today was green beans)
Crock pot beef/veggie soup with a sprinkle of romano cheese
Microwave popcorn, butter flavor

None of it is "diet food".  I'm not getting the smart-pop, light, air-popped dullness that is "diet" popcorn.  I'm using the popcorn to battle my chip habit.  Salty and crunchy is really my biggest downfall but this time-consuming substitute helps a lot.

The other benefit of popcorn is how much it irritates your co-workers with it's smell. 

"Are you having popcorn again?"
"Why don't you make that at home and just bring it with you?"
"Did you know that everyone in the building can smell that?"
"Wow, that popcorn smells really good."

So, not only does it help with the potato chip issues, it provides some cheap entertainment.

On the "Effort to Look Like a Pin-Up Girl" front, today was a wash.  I had a bad hair day.  My bangs looked weird all day long, I got stressed and rubbed off all my makeup by 10 am, and I wore my hideous blue uniform shirt.

I have this problem with wearing colors.  I have a crazy health issue with sweat.  Not a day goes by that I am not soaked with sweat.  Because of this, I wear very dark colors at all times.  It's localized, only an armpit thing, but it's horrible.  I wear a prescription antiperspirant, but I still have horrible sweat rings under my arms constantly.  When I began taking my current anti-anxiety medication, you can imagine my delight when I discovered that profuse sweating was one of the side effects.  Needless to say, this has helped my sanity but not my sweating issue. (This may be TMI - ooh - a title! TMI Tuesday - editing now!)

I told my boss that I had a medical problem that would be an issue with blue shirts, but of course he would not listen to me - who has a medical issue that prevents them from wearing blue?  Well, within an hour and a half of donning the hideous shirt, I had the horribly unattractive sweat rings in my pits.  I walked into his office and showed him, and, will wonders never cease, I don't have to wear the uniform.  But now, tomorrow when I go in, everyone is going to wonder where my uniform shirts are.  How thoroughly embarrassing.  According to my doctor, the only options left for this are undergoing surgery to have the sweat glands in my armpits removed (but I always picture the sweat squirting out some other, equally unappealing pore of my body) or injecting Botox into my pits.  Yay.  Botulism.  I really want to introduce that into my body.  I don't even eat preservatives, for crying out loud!

So perspiration.  That is the "TMI" in TMI Tuesday.  Ahhhh....I knew I'd come up with a topic.  Stay tuned to next week when we discuss some other horribly embarrassing bodily function!

Thank you for all your warm responses, ladies!  You are really helping me toe the line with my plan (tarts aside.)

Dec. 6: Snowy Monday

Isn't it a nice feeling when you think you have pigged out but then realize it wasn't really that bad?  When I was adding up my food today I had that pleasant surprise......

Until I remembered the TARTS.

Dang.

Despite the tarts, the FOUR tarts, my intake was still within diet numbers.

Calories:  1822
Carbs: 208 (eek)
Fat: 64
Protein: 100

Not great but not nearly as bad as before I got at least one leg up on the wagon. (although the other leg is dangling and dragging in the dirt behind the wagon.)  Geez, I don't know what's wrong with me.  Is there a confused smilie?

On to the weekly meal plan.

On Sunday I cooked a batch of chicken breasts.  I found a really great seasoning that contains no MSG.  It is a brand called Cool Runnings and I found it in the ethnic food aisle.  It's just their multi-purpose seasoning.  I sprinkled it liberally on the chicken breasts and baked them in the oven.  Spicy and delish.  Then I made my lunches for the week.

I packed 4 pieces of Tupperware with the above concoction:  6-6.5 oz chicken breast sliced over 1 cup of frozen veggies.  The veggies are either broccoli or green beans.  I heat this in the microwave at lunch time for about 2.5 minutes and the veggies are perfectly steamed.  YUM.

Today I made a crock pot full of soup.  I'm working really hard to increase my veggies.

Crock Pot Beef and Veggie Soup

1 can of diced tomatoes with olive oil and garlic

1 can f diced potatoes

1 can of mixed veggies

1 pound of extra lean ground beef

Seasoning to taste

(I used Italian seasoning, my Cool Runnings seasoning,

black pepper, onion powder and garlic powder)

1 cup of water

Cook the concoction all day (8-9 hours) on low.  Yummy smelling tasty soup will await you when you get home.  Ballpark calories for this lusciousness on a cold and snowy Monday?  80 calories per cup!

Yep, I relied heavily on the canned goods for convenience today. The goods I chose were not loaded with salt and I was careful to select brands without additives or preservatives. Sure, fresh would be better but I'm a single working mom and sometimes corners are just going to be cut. Period.  As long as I use careful judgement about what corners I'm choosing to cut, convenience can still be part of a healthy lifestyle.

Weekly Menu:

Monday:  Beef and veggie soup
Tuesday: Beef and veggie soup
Wednesday:  Turkey Burgers, sweet potato fries
Thursday: more soup (my daughter will be at dad's tonight or she would rebel against having soup 3X!)
Friday: dinner out with the kids - pizza?

I didn't go nuts on variety this week.  Sometimes when I am trying to get into the swing of dieting I do better when I don't have as much variety.  This seems like one of those weeks.

I got up early today and used hot rollers and the entire array of warpaint on my face.  Sadly, my long-awaited, much-dreaded, work uniform shirts arrived today, so tomorrow and every workday thereafter, I shall be clad in a hideous, unflattering blue shirt.  However, from the chin up, I'll do my best!

Keep warm!  If you are living in a wintery climate, enjoy the beauty of the first snow!

Dec. 6: Quick (but Late) Sunday Update

I'm getting ready for work Monday morning but I didn't get time to update yesterday.

For accountability's sake:

Calories: 1430
Carbs:  113
Fat: 68
Protein: 88

Clearly protein was too low.  I'm very happy with everything else.

Back tonight with eats info!

Dec. 4: The Plan

Ahhhhh....I love Saturdays, especially when I get to hang with my girlies in my PJs until noon.  Is there anything better than a lazy morning, slowly sipping coffee for hours and just hanging out with the people you love?  This morning, my friend's boy came over and hung out with us.  He is a little darling, so polite!  It was fun having a little one in the house again (he's 4).  We decorated Christmas ornaments and had lunch with him and his Mommy in my cute little kitchen.

I then did some shopping for our family that we have adopted through work this Christmas.  Since I work with guys, I mostly got money instead of gifts for the family.  Hey, I can always shop, especially when all the money does not come out of my bank account!

I've made a plan.  It isn't earth-shattering or anything.  I'm simply going to do what works - and I know it works from successfully doing it before.

I'm going to weigh, measure and count. Simple and idiot-proof. I just have to do it.

My kitchen scale is out on the counter with new batteries in it.  My measuring implements are washed and ready in a bowl.  Tomorrow I will map out my meal plan, cook and pack my lunches, all nicely measured out.

I've also determined a couple of other things.  *'s comment in my post "Have You Ever Felt Beautiful?" really got me to thinking about my self-esteem.  Instead of shooting for a body like the models in Oxygen, I'm going to be inspired by people like Christina Hendricks.  I'm going to put real effort into my appearance now, instead of waiting to be skinny before I do something to my hair besides scraping it back in a bun.  I deserve to feel beautiful whatever my weight, and I intend to put forth real effort to do so.

I'm going to try really hard not to sweat the actual pounds.  I've always liked myself voluptuous, but felt pressured to be thinner.  I remember a day in my late 20s.  I wore this clingy navy blue dress and men flirted with my all day long.  I was about 170 pounds at the time.  When I met my ex-husband for dinner, he criticized what I was wearing and told me that someone my size should not be wearing something fitted like that.  Of course, despite the 10 people that thought I looked great, the one that mattered caused my self-esteem to come crashing down.

I guess the lesson I (we) can learn from that, is that we can't please everyone.  The first person to please is ourselves, and then the rest, the really important people will follow.  In the immortal words of Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Another picture of Christina for inspiration:

Who inspires you and makes you feel like you can be beautiful?

Dec. 3: The First Christmas Party of the Season

First of all, I want to say thank you for the warm welcome back and the offers of support.  I feel awesome just hearing from you all.  I need every ounce of accountability and support I can get to be successful in this.

Today was the first Christmas party of this year's holiday season.  It went fairly well.

I had:

Grilled chicken
Baked beans
Coleslaw (small serving)
Potatoes (small serving)
Dinner roll

I drank water instead of alcohol which kept the calories down.

Dessert, always my downfall, was less than stellar, but it could have been worse.

Small piece of cheesecake
2 cream puffs

Dinner was delicious - it's always fun to celebrate with friends and co-workers.

The rest of the day, I tried to keep cals on the low side.

Toast with a smidge of butter and cinnamon
Nonfat yogurt with protein powder, peaches and granola
Popcorn

Yeah, popcorn was not the healthiest lunch in the world, but it takes a long time to eat and I wanted to keep the calories way down since I knew dinner would not be the leanest.

I'm marking today in the "Success" column, even though some might not think it was.  The reason?

~  I was in control of the food - the food was not in control of me
~  I ate because I was hungry, not because the food was there
~  I limited my Diet Coke consumption and drank mostly water
~  I didn't eat until I felt sick, the way I have been lately
~  I didn't have ice cream (of course, I had cheesecake)

This weekend my kids go to their dad's house.  I'm going to work on organizing my tiny apartment and I am going to do some cooking for the week ahead.  We're really loving soup this winter so I think I'll do another pot of soup - what kind depends on what is on sale.

For now, we are stringing popcorn and baking gingerbread ornaments (non-edible).  The house smells divine and the kiddos are happy and feeling creative.  Life is good.

Dec. 2: Resurrecting the Blog

Today, I'm staging a resurrection of my blog.

Lately, my input has been sporadic at best.  And it's the same for my lifestyle.  I might get partway through the day eating healthy, but the least temptation causes me to cave.  I've been wondering all week how I got back to the place I am.  I realized how important this blog is, perhaps not to you, but to me: to my motivation, my education and to my resolve.

I'm taking the blog back to it's roots.  In the beginning I wrote this to keep myself accountable and to puzzle through the reason that I have never successfully dieted and kept it off.  I dedicated it to educating myself about food, and what is in the food-like substances you find in the stores, and to sharing it with you.  I traced the footsteps of my weight loss plan and my baby steps into fitness.  When I dropped back to just writing once a week, the pounds crept back on.

So today, I'm restarting this 20 pounds heavier than I was in the summer.

Today:
Height: 5'8" 
Weight: 185    + 17 pounds
Chest: 46"       + 5 inches
Waist: 35"       + 5 inches
Hips: 43"         + 5 inches

June 25th, 2010
Weight: 168
Bust: 41"
Waist: 30"
Hips: 38"

So there is five extra inches of me all the way around. Bummer.  Just to make myself feel better, I went back to the veeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyy beginning of the journey and copied those stats.

November 30, 2009
Weight: 210      - 25 pounds
Bust 46            the same
Waist 37.5        - 2.5"
Hips 47            - 3"

Well, actually it doesn't really make me feel much better.  I'm really surprised at how close the measurements are.  My body really seems to want to fluff right back up.

Anyhow, this is a new page in the journey.  One year later, hopefully much wiser, I'm re-embarking on a lifestyle change and I'm planning to make it stick this time.

I hope you all will forgive me for my semi-abandonment of my blog and help me to stay on track.  I look forward to any and all input, my friends!

I want it.  I'm done being the chubby one.  I will not give up and I won't quit this time.  When I get there, I will still keep fighting to be strong, fit and healthy.  I want it and I will get there.