Dec. 4: The Plan

Ahhhhh....I love Saturdays, especially when I get to hang with my girlies in my PJs until noon.  Is there anything better than a lazy morning, slowly sipping coffee for hours and just hanging out with the people you love?  This morning, my friend's boy came over and hung out with us.  He is a little darling, so polite!  It was fun having a little one in the house again (he's 4).  We decorated Christmas ornaments and had lunch with him and his Mommy in my cute little kitchen.

I then did some shopping for our family that we have adopted through work this Christmas.  Since I work with guys, I mostly got money instead of gifts for the family.  Hey, I can always shop, especially when all the money does not come out of my bank account!

I've made a plan.  It isn't earth-shattering or anything.  I'm simply going to do what works - and I know it works from successfully doing it before.

I'm going to weigh, measure and count. Simple and idiot-proof. I just have to do it.

My kitchen scale is out on the counter with new batteries in it.  My measuring implements are washed and ready in a bowl.  Tomorrow I will map out my meal plan, cook and pack my lunches, all nicely measured out.

I've also determined a couple of other things.  *'s comment in my post "Have You Ever Felt Beautiful?" really got me to thinking about my self-esteem.  Instead of shooting for a body like the models in Oxygen, I'm going to be inspired by people like Christina Hendricks.  I'm going to put real effort into my appearance now, instead of waiting to be skinny before I do something to my hair besides scraping it back in a bun.  I deserve to feel beautiful whatever my weight, and I intend to put forth real effort to do so.

I'm going to try really hard not to sweat the actual pounds.  I've always liked myself voluptuous, but felt pressured to be thinner.  I remember a day in my late 20s.  I wore this clingy navy blue dress and men flirted with my all day long.  I was about 170 pounds at the time.  When I met my ex-husband for dinner, he criticized what I was wearing and told me that someone my size should not be wearing something fitted like that.  Of course, despite the 10 people that thought I looked great, the one that mattered caused my self-esteem to come crashing down.

I guess the lesson I (we) can learn from that, is that we can't please everyone.  The first person to please is ourselves, and then the rest, the really important people will follow.  In the immortal words of Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Another picture of Christina for inspiration:

Who inspires you and makes you feel like you can be beautiful?

Dec. 3: The First Christmas Party of the Season

First of all, I want to say thank you for the warm welcome back and the offers of support.  I feel awesome just hearing from you all.  I need every ounce of accountability and support I can get to be successful in this.

Today was the first Christmas party of this year's holiday season.  It went fairly well.

I had:

Grilled chicken
Baked beans
Coleslaw (small serving)
Potatoes (small serving)
Dinner roll

I drank water instead of alcohol which kept the calories down.

Dessert, always my downfall, was less than stellar, but it could have been worse.

Small piece of cheesecake
2 cream puffs

Dinner was delicious - it's always fun to celebrate with friends and co-workers.

The rest of the day, I tried to keep cals on the low side.

Toast with a smidge of butter and cinnamon
Nonfat yogurt with protein powder, peaches and granola
Popcorn

Yeah, popcorn was not the healthiest lunch in the world, but it takes a long time to eat and I wanted to keep the calories way down since I knew dinner would not be the leanest.

I'm marking today in the "Success" column, even though some might not think it was.  The reason?

~  I was in control of the food - the food was not in control of me
~  I ate because I was hungry, not because the food was there
~  I limited my Diet Coke consumption and drank mostly water
~  I didn't eat until I felt sick, the way I have been lately
~  I didn't have ice cream (of course, I had cheesecake)

This weekend my kids go to their dad's house.  I'm going to work on organizing my tiny apartment and I am going to do some cooking for the week ahead.  We're really loving soup this winter so I think I'll do another pot of soup - what kind depends on what is on sale.

For now, we are stringing popcorn and baking gingerbread ornaments (non-edible).  The house smells divine and the kiddos are happy and feeling creative.  Life is good.

Dec. 2: Resurrecting the Blog

Today, I'm staging a resurrection of my blog.

Lately, my input has been sporadic at best.  And it's the same for my lifestyle.  I might get partway through the day eating healthy, but the least temptation causes me to cave.  I've been wondering all week how I got back to the place I am.  I realized how important this blog is, perhaps not to you, but to me: to my motivation, my education and to my resolve.

I'm taking the blog back to it's roots.  In the beginning I wrote this to keep myself accountable and to puzzle through the reason that I have never successfully dieted and kept it off.  I dedicated it to educating myself about food, and what is in the food-like substances you find in the stores, and to sharing it with you.  I traced the footsteps of my weight loss plan and my baby steps into fitness.  When I dropped back to just writing once a week, the pounds crept back on.

So today, I'm restarting this 20 pounds heavier than I was in the summer.

Today:
Height: 5'8" 
Weight: 185    + 17 pounds
Chest: 46"       + 5 inches
Waist: 35"       + 5 inches
Hips: 43"         + 5 inches

June 25th, 2010
Weight: 168
Bust: 41"
Waist: 30"
Hips: 38"

So there is five extra inches of me all the way around. Bummer.  Just to make myself feel better, I went back to the veeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyy beginning of the journey and copied those stats.

November 30, 2009
Weight: 210      - 25 pounds
Bust 46            the same
Waist 37.5        - 2.5"
Hips 47            - 3"

Well, actually it doesn't really make me feel much better.  I'm really surprised at how close the measurements are.  My body really seems to want to fluff right back up.

Anyhow, this is a new page in the journey.  One year later, hopefully much wiser, I'm re-embarking on a lifestyle change and I'm planning to make it stick this time.

I hope you all will forgive me for my semi-abandonment of my blog and help me to stay on track.  I look forward to any and all input, my friends!

I want it.  I'm done being the chubby one.  I will not give up and I won't quit this time.  When I get there, I will still keep fighting to be strong, fit and healthy.  I want it and I will get there.

Nov. 21: Volunteering at the Austin Humane Society

Those of you that have been following my blog for a while know these things about me:

~ I suffer from chronic depression
~ I am a complete animal lover
~ I'm a big fan of Lyle McDonald's work

I'd like to link you to a very special series that he has written.

Volunteering at the Austin Humane Society

This series touched my heart for so many reasons, particularly the ones listed above.

If you have ever suffered from mental illness or know someone who has, read this series.

If you love our furry friends, read this series.

If you use Lyle's site and forum and benefit from his writings, read this series.

Lyle gives away so much knowledge for free.  It's payback time, my friends.

Nov. 21: These Boots Were Made for Walkin'.....

I feel amazing.  I took a looooonnnnggg walk with the dog today.  My back didn't hurt, my leg didn't hurt, and the cold crisp air felt fabulous against my cheeks.

Ever since I moved, at the beginning of October, my back has steadily gotten worse.  Exercise has gone done the toilet.  I've been seeing a chiropractor and the improvement is nothing short of miraculous.  Before this treatment, after about 10 minutes I was dragging my numb, tingling right leg behind me like Quasimodo.  Today, I felt really good and did some stretching.  I took a short walk to the store and when I cam back, I decided to leash up the pup and go for it.  We wound through all sorts of little streets in our new neighborhood (I say new because we haven't really seen that much of it so far."

Now the pooch is laying on her favorite chair, pooped out, and I'm here typing, feeling inspired about health and fitness again!

(I couldn't get rid of the freaky eyes - I promise, she is a normal brown-eyed doggy!)

Every week, it seems like there is a challenge, standing in the way of healthy eating.  Sometimes it's my schedule, sometimes it is roadblocks and temptations thrown in the way by others.

This week, it's "brokeness."

I've got very little money for groceries this week.  We won't starve to death or anything, but fat seems to be the world's cheapest ingredient.  Everything inexpensive seems to be quite high in fat and carbs.

I have tomorrow off, so I will be looking for some bargains, and I will adapt my menu around them.  My veggie intake has not been what it should be lately either, something else I need to rectify.  This week you can expect a lot of stir fries.  I'm also going to be looking for some less expensive protein options - I'm very partial to skinless boneless chicken but it may not be in the budget right now.  I may also make a beef and cabbage soup.  We've really been enjoying a nice bowl of soup at the end of a long day - and it's another effective way to get the veggies in.

I'll be back after grocery shopping tomorrow to post the menu!

Nov. 16: Down Some Pounds

For once, the scale is making me happy.

It's probably because I was so sick, but I am down 6 pounds from the beginning of the month!  Today's weigh-in was 180.

I've made a huge change in eating habits, even though I am still dealing with WICKED cravings.  I'm being strict, but not so strict that I rebound.

A huge difference is cutting back on the Diet Coke. I don't know why, but when I drink that all the time, the way I so enjoy, I eat more.  I know there are studies with various hypothesis on why people drinking lots of diet soda gain weight, and it seems it is very true for me.

I'm sure with cutting out the fast food, the sodium intake is totally different.  That would also account for a few pounds.

The exercise thing is just NOT working out for me.  I've been under the care of a chiropractor for severe neck and back pain.  After two weeks, I can't go much further than a kilometer until I'm dragging my leg behind me in a most undignified fashion.  The chiro says to listen to my body and not force anything, and has also banned me from heavy lifting in the gym until this is straightened out.  I think I'd feel so much better if I could go out and take long wanders with the dog.  At least I don't have a pounding headache every second of every day anymore.

I had tried going to the doctor for this, but all they did was tell me it was stress and give me pain killers.  I'm getting more relief from the chiropractor after just 3 visits than the 3 doctors visits and multiple bottles of medication they gave me. While I'm definitely not anti-modern-medicine, there are some things a pill won't fix.

The meal plan is right on track for the week, and that in itself gives me a big buzz of success!

Nov. 14: Weekly Food Prep

This week, I'm really feeling the cooking bug.  Maybe because it's cold and foggy out, maybe because last week's food prep kept me so successfully on plan.  Whatever the reason, I'm itching to get into the kitchen today!

First things first, I'm roasting 2 chickens.  Have you seen those flattened chickens at your local grocery store?  They are supposed to cook way faster that way.  Anyhow, they are on sale, so I'm grabbing two and making them today.  While they are in the oven I'm going to also make a batch of baked brown rice.

The chicken soup I made last week was such a hit that my daughter R asked me to make it again this week.  So after the chicken cools, I'll remove the yummy white meat and put it away for other meals and then I will put the carcasses and dark meat in the crockpot overnight to make broth for more soup.

Sunday: Roasted chicken with potatoes and carrots, green beans

Monday: Leftovers

Tuesday: Mexican chicken  casserole (recipe below)

Wednesday: Chicken noodle soup

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Pizza night



Mexican Chicken Casserole

("Casserole" usually indicates something baked in the oven.  We're going to nuke ours in the microwave in one dish servings.)

cooked chicken

cooked brown rice

canned rinsed black beans

frozen corn

chili powder, cilantro, sea salt

salsa

tortilla chips

finely shredded cheddar

plain non-fat or low-fat yogurt

Based on your pre-determined serving sizes, add chicken and rice to a large bowl. Stir in 1/4 cup of beans and corn, and then season to taste with spices and salsa.  Heat in the microwave for 2-3 minutes, or until hot.  Carefully remove the dish from the microwave and top with some shredded cheese and crumbled tortilla chips.  Return to the microwave for 30 seconds, top with  yogurt and then enjoy!

One of the really nice things about this dish is that, depending on your nutritional goals, you can tweak the macros to suit.  For the kids, you can top it with a bit more cheese if you want.

Now that I am finally feeling healthier, this is the week that I am going to start my early morning walking plan.  I'm going to start off with a brisk 20 minute walk with the dog, and see how things go from there.

My goal has changed.  After the epiphany I wrote about yesterday, I really want to lookin the mirror and love what I see.  I want to treat myself kindly and feel beautiful.  I want to stop punishing my body with food and instead, nurture myself with food and activity.

I'm off to church and then the grocery store! 
Have a great week!