Food prep for the week of Oct. 24th

I've returned from my trip to the grocery store, and eats are still relatively on track for today.

Tomorrow I am going to make crockpot beef bbq - R can have hers on bread but mine will just be a hunk of yummy protein on a plate.

Today's prep:

Chicken breasts
Huge garden salad
Veggie tray with baby carrots, broccoli and cherry tomatoes
Mexican ground chicken
"Refried" beans
Sweet potato soup
Chicken broth made from a rotisserie chicken

This week's menu:

Sunday: Greek salad with chicken breast
Monday: BBQ beef, sweet potato oven fries
Tuesday: BBQ beef "pizza" on a whole wheat pita, topped with mushroom, onion and red pepper
Wednesday: Broccoli and chicken stir fry
Thursday: Grilled ham and cheese on artisan apple bread, sweet potato soup
Friday: Chicken soft tacos, refried beans

As always, lunch is leftovers.  I have a small breakfast before work in the morning, nearly always the same thing: whole wheat toast with natural pb, and skim milk.  I have yogurt, fruit and granola around 10 am.  I'm filling in the munching time with microwave popcorn.  I have to curb the constant eating but this week, my concentration is on eating real food again.

Wish me luck and determination!

Oct. 24: Square one...again

How many times am I going to have to start over?

As many times as it takes, I guess.

The last week has been less than stellar.  If I was an alcoholic, I would call it a relapse.  I had a food bender for an entire week and I'm scared to get back on the scale.  You couldn't even imagine the amount of food I consumed. I was tucking into it pretty much every waking moment.  I have no idea why I lost all sense of control like this.  Mentally, I'm feeling good (aside from said food bender.)  The visit with my mom was not absolutely horrible.  Work is great, life is great - I just lost it.

So, here I am again at square one, trying to keep away from the temptations that are everywhere.

Last night, I threw out all open sources of temptation.  Into the garbage went cake, cookies, chips and ice cream, all heaped together in one nauseating pile.  I even emptied out the packages and dumped ice cream on the dry goods so I would not be able to go in and dig something out.  I don't know if I would've dug something out, but the way things have been going, better to be safe than sorry.  This was my equivalent of dumping the vodka down the sink.  Bagged up and ready to go are all of the still-sealed sources of temptation.  I'll be dropping those off at the food bank when I go to the grocery store today.

Did this horrible cacophony of cravings come from some stress that I did not recognize?  Did I give myself an inch and take a mile?  Did some horrid preservative or additive trigger this awful bingefest?  Was it some dreadful combination of all of the above?

I hate that I have to start over.  I felt so successful, like I had beaten the bingeing and emotional eating once and for all.  But start over I must.  At least this time, I know what to do.

The plan is detox.  Crap food detox.

~  No sources of MSG (proven to trigger cravings in many people)
~  No processed sugar
~  Water instead of diet soda
~  Real food, prepped and easily accessible at all times
~  Brisk walk with the dog before and after work

This week, I'm not really restricting calories.  I'm counting them, keeping them under 2000, but the goal is to switch myself back to actual food, not packages of chemicals.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will I be able to repair this damage in one week.

I'll be back today with the week's food prep after I check out the sales at the grocery store. Good, bad or ugly, I'm going to blog about it, because recording it makes me accountable.

Oct 14: How Did My Challenging Day Go?

Does that sum it up?

Sigh.......

I really thought about not blogging tonight.  I bandied about the idea of skipping over today's foodfest and changing the subject in a couple of days when I wrote again.

But I couldn't do it.  Denying it doesn't make it go away.  Not telling anyone that I ate tons of junk food and made poor choices does not make the choices less poor.

When a calorie doesn't get counted and tracked, it's still a calorie.  Unfortunately, calories are not like those stupid trees that fall in the forest with no one around to hear them.

So, to make a long story short, we'll just go with "totals".

My day consisted of a breakfast meeting and two buffets.  Let's just say, my choices were not stellar.

Breakfast Meeting: 597
Lunch Buffet (Pizza): 1160
Dinner Buffet (Chinese): 897

Bringing us to a grand total of...........

Calories: 2654
Carbs: 312
Fat: 103
Protein: 123

Gulp.

It looks pretty dirty all written out like that.  And the even worse thought is that, since I don't hit buffets with my trusty scale, I'm guessing at the actual servings.

Am I going to dress in sack cloth and roll around in ashes?  Am I going to starve myself for the next two days to make up for it?  Perhaps I could only have vegetables in water for the rest of the week to pay penance for my nutritional sins.

Nope.

As disappointed as I am in my choices, I'm simply going to do better tomorrow.  I'm going to write off today and I'm going to move on with my nutritional plan and make tomorrow go without a hitch.  Why?  Because I've spent too many years yo yo dieting and watching the scale go up and down.  Mistakes happen.  Punishing myself won't make them not happen again.  That will just make me say "F$#* it" and quit altogether.  Starving myself will just make me go on another food bender.  But nourishing myself with good food will make me feel good and I will want to keep that sense of wellness going.

Tomorrow's plan:

My regular first two meals
Salad with grilled chicken for lunch (with lots of yummy veggies)
Homemade chili for supper (cooked in the crockpot)

The crockpot will allow no margin for error with dinner.  It will be sitting there ready, smelling delicious, so that there will be no ordering pizza, no "too tired to make dinner", no excuses period.  I do okay sticking with meals during the day because I take it with me and that's all there is to eat.

So there we have it.  The long and the short.  The good and the bad. The way to make it better.

Don't think I'm letting myself "off the hook".  I'm not pleased with the decisions I made but there's no umaking them now.  I'm moving on and starting again the next meal because that's all you can do.

Self-flagellation only goes over well in monasteries.

Oct. 13: Limited Success

You know, I'm a glass half full kind of girl, so I am going to call today a success, if a limited one.

I finally fixed my food scale (okay, I replaced the battery, but saying "fixed" sounds much more efficient and capable) so my calories are very accurate today. 

They are too high for weight loss.

Today's eats"

m1: ww English muffin, natural pb, skim milk

m2: yogurt, 1/2 a nectarine, granola and protein powder
m3: salad with turkey breast, homemade Mexican dressing and 30g of Doritos
m4: broccoli pizza
1,882 calories
204 carbs
65 fat
125 protein

It's the carbs, of course, that are pushing my numbers up so high.  I've got to cut them back.  I have to plan my days better too.  If I were eating a less "carby" dinner, I'd be right in line with where I need to be.

My plan is to cut calories and eat on the higher end of the deficit.  After the lengthy diet break I've been on, I should be able to lose on more calories than before. (The optimist in me speaks again!)

After supper is just killing me.  I want to sit here and munch in front of the TV with every fiber of my being.  Of course, if I want to do that I need to save up some of my calories. Tonight I'm going to try a flavored hot tea and see if that satisfies a little bit.

The rest of the week is full of stumbling blocks.  Tomorrow has a breakfast meeting with absolutely NO healthy choices although I've requested them.  My daughter has a doctor's appointment and wants to go for lunch afterwards.  I intend to make good choices then as well, to the best of my ability.  For supper tomorrow night, I'm going to make a stir fry with veggies and chicken and no rice or noodles.  Friday, my mom will be arriving for a one week visit.  With her also arrives bags of chips, cookies and candy, as well as convenience foods like macaroni and cheese and other nutrional minefields.  The weekend will be the tough part, since all the meals will be family style.  The work week will be far easier to navigate since I will be eating the first three meals at the office.

I need to ponder and come up with a road map through this.  If I was still in my "excuses" phase, this would be a dandy reason to blow off my diet for the next week.  But I could do that every week of the year and still have excuses left over. 

There is always going to be something that makes dieting difficult.  Getting around those difficulties is the difference between being a yo yo dieter and a success story.



Oct 12: Day One Success and Turkey Recipes

Today was Day One of being on-plan.


It was a big improvement, although not dietarily perfect.  I was happy because I refrained from eating crap all day.  I can't really pinpoint the last time I made it through an entire day without eating some junk: chips, a donut, a drive-through cheeseburger.  Even though it was a bit unbalanced, I was pleased with the junk-"freeness" of it.

m1: Whole Wheat English Muffin w/ natural pb, iced coffee with skim milk
m2: Low Fat Organic Yogurt, 1/2 a banana, granola, protein powder, sprinkle of pecans
m3: turkey breast, leftover stuffing (fairly low fat - no butter, not actually stuffed into the turkey) and roasted veggies
m4: chicken breast, Kashi honey puff cereal
Microwave popcorn nibbled on to help deter the potato chip cravings

Calories: 1595
Carbs: 188
Fat: 46
Protein: 118

TURKEY PITA PIZZAS

leftover turkey breast in bite sized pieces

bbq sauce of choice

whole wheat pita

veggies of choice (I use onions, hot peppers and mushrooms)

shredded low fat mozzarella

Preheat the oven to 400.  Place the pita on a baking sheet and spread with bbq sauce - my favorite is a spicy honey garlic bbq sauce.  Top with turkey and veggies, then sprinkle with cheese.  The lighter you go on the cheese, the lower cal your meal will be.

Bake in the oven until pita is crisp on bottom and cheese is bubbly, about 10 minutes.  Let it rest of a couple of minutes before you slice it into 4 pieces.

Tomorrow I'm experimenting with sweet potato soup to use up the last of the mashed sweet potatoes. 

Here's looking at another successful diet day tomorrow.

Thank you so much for the warm "welcome back" you gave me!  My meal planning is not spectacular this week, but it revolves around using up the Thanksgiving leftovers!

Oct. 11: Moved In At Last!

Finally.

After a week and a half without phone and internet, life is settling into a new kind of normal.

The move, like all moves, was long, exhausting, and chaotic.  On moving day we didn't get the truck unpacked until 8:30 at night.  It took absolutely forever.  Added to that, my living room furniture wouldn't fit through the door.  I luckily sold it and managed to get a small sofa for the same amount.  We were so exhausted we could hardly move.  We went out for dinner and R fell asleep at the table.  The next day my back hurt so much I could hardly walk.  It also hurt that badly the day after that.  Thankfully, I'm all better now.

Unfortunately I'm also about five pounds heavier.  You know what ticks me off?  When I was all stressed out, I gave myself permission to eat crappy food.  Then when I was feeling better, I gave myself permission to eat crappy food. Subsequently, I gained 5 pounds in two weeks.  What was the reason?  There wasn't one - I just made them up.  I wanted to eat crappy food, and so I did. Excuses are what made me fat the first 759 times around.  Here are the excuses that have been in play over the past two weeks:

1.)  You poor thing, you are so stressed out.  Just have a cheeseburger and you'll feel better.

2.)  There is no time today - we have to eat in the car on the way to our appointment.

3.)  I'm feeling much better - let's celebrate with dinner out!

4.)  The boss bought donuts - it would be rude not to eat one.

5.)  I don't have time to pack my lunch this morning - I'll just have fast food.

6.)  I didn't have any granola to go with my yogurt so I will just have a candy bar instead.

I'm sure there were other excuses, but those were sufficiently lame to get my point across.

My point is:  There is always an excuse - it's easier to make excuses and let yourself off the hook than to stay on track.  But it's not easier to be heavy instead of healthy.  My short term satisfaction is not worth my long term health.

So tomorrow begins the trek back to a healthy lifestyle, here in my cute new apartment just a few blocks from work.

For all my Canadian friends

~ I'm thankful that I weigh about 50 pounds less than I did last Thanksgiving ~

~ I'm thankful that I've been able to reduce my expenses ~

~ I'm thankful that I have a lovely new apartment with a great landlord ~

~ I'm thankful for my beautiful, talented daughters ~

~ I'm thankful for my affectionate pets ~

~ I'm thankful that I have been blessed with a new beginning ~

~ I'm thankful for a great job ~

Tomorrow:

 recipes for Thanksgiving leftovers

Sept. 26: Countdown to Moving Day

That is not my neat tidy stack of moving boxes.

Nope, my moving boxes are all adult diaper boxes.  My next door neighbor works at a nursing home and has supplied me with hundreds of sturdy, uniformly-sized adult diaper boxes!  I'm sure the new neighbors will wonder who the heck is moving in, and whether or not they should allow us to sit down on the new sofa if they invite us over.

A couple of dear friends stopped by today to help me and it was great.  I still need to do the storage area of the basement, the linen closet and the pantry.  The bedrooms are basically done.  Life is going to be absolutely insane this week, climbing over and around the boxes in every room.

Eats are outrageously bad.  I'm having a lot of trouble getting on track and staying on track right now.  I'm not going to just cave but I'm also not going to beat myself up this week.  A week from tomorrow is soon enough to start pulling it all together again.  So far, my weight has been maintained fairly well, so I'm sure an off-week won't cause me to regain 20 pounds. 

I prepped some food today, but not as much as usual.  I made....

Roasted chicken breast

Roasted broccoli

Mexican ground turkey

Garden salad

Fruit tray

Hopefully this will keep me on the straight and narrow for at least some of the week.  If I can hang tough for everything but one meal a day, I'll be really pleased with the week.  Supper will consist of short cuts, drive thru and frozen pizza.  That's just how it is.

Once I get moved, I'll be cutting an hour out of my day by getting rid of my current commute.  I'll have more time to update - I know I've been lagging, so I really thank those of you who have stuck with me.  Starting next week, I'll be updating with my new weight-loss plan as the diet break ends and the dieting begins.  I'll also be creating more yummy recipes and meal plans, and I'm really looking forward to getting back to the gym!